


Ashes to Ashes

by Novacant



Category: Adam Driver - Fandom, Kylo Ren - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, star wars AU - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, F/M, Fluff, Happy ending for emo boy, Horny!OC, Hux is gay change my mind, Jedi, KnightsofRen - Freeform, Kylo Ren Needs a Therapist, Love, OC is kickass, OC is not a therapist, Sith, Skywalker, dark side, kyloren - Freeform, possessive!Kylo, submissive!OC (eventually), ungodly use of force, unhealthy relationship, vicrul - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:33:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 38,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24757081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novacant/pseuds/Novacant
Summary: When the First Order raids your village on Tatooine the world you knew is snatched from you, entering the First Order as a prisoner wouldn't be easy, especially when you're the prisoner of the infamous Kylo Ren.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 17
Kudos: 96





	1. Don’t Tell Kylo What To Do

Flames roared from the throwers held by the stormtroopers, screams being drowned out by the constant blaster shots as the troops marched through.

What was supposed to be a routine inspection had turned brutal when the Order identified a spy.

So naturally now the whole village had to be obliterated.

You weren't really sad to see it go, you would however be slightly annoyed that you would die via blaster, it seemed rather undignified.

You were shivering despite the columns of flames engulfing the buildings around you, perhaps it was the cold blaster being pushed against your spine. That was probably it, the trooper was moving you from your lovely little hut to the village centre, you could see other troopers herding different households in the same direction. A strange strategy, you thought, if they wanted to kill all of them, why not do it in the comfort of their own homes?

A reverberating roar caught your attention as a flash of light indicated a ship coming out of hyperspace just outside the atmosphere, fast approaching it appeared to be a a strange looking shuttle with large, overdramatic wings pointed upwards.

Frankly you thought it looked obnoxious, but you could see why it would evoke fear in all of its pitch black glory.

A jab from the nuzzle of the blaster had you shuffling along again, towards impending doom, the looming shape off the ship was now just about to land, hovering just outside the border of the town. You passed a family huddled together, with two children both crying in earnest, a small twinge of guilt tugged at your heart, but you faced forward and continued on, trudging at the pace of the trooper behind you.

Chaos had torn through the village centre, sand seemed to be suspended in the air giving the flames a hazy quality, tension and fear laced the air, you could almost taste it.

Despite having heard the atrocities the First Order had committed, even in nearby villages, you could not quite comprehend that everyone here was going to die, and you felt in your gut that it wasn't your time.

Regardless there wasn't really anyone in the village that you particularly minded dying.

Was there?

"Sima" you exhaled, panic rising in your stomach like bile. Or maybe that was actually bile, you felt sick.

She was a young Twi'lek sold to the village by the Hutt traffickers, a servant at the small inn, bought by the same old Quarren that had bought you years ago, Yon Morg.

You had befriended the girl when you had caught Morg's son trying to make a pass at her, the punch to the jaw you gave him earned you another ten strikes to your already marred back.

As you approached the fountain in the middle of the village centre the scene became clearer through the sand and smoke, your eyes frantically scanned the huddled group of villagers searching for the small girl, tugging the tattered blanket you had wrapped around yourself as you were dragged from your hut tighter.

Your eyes locked onto the hunched figure of Sima across the square, the trooper shoved you to your knees, the rocks in the sand cutting through your thin pants and in turn shredding your knees.

When the trooper turned to gather more people you crawled towards Sima, shuffling past the hunched figures of crying people, when you were only metres away from the girl a blaster was lowered in front of your face. You froze, taking a moment before turning your head to follow the infamous white armour up to the bucket head, you sat back on your knees as you gave what you hoped to be a soul-shaking stare into the pitch black eyes of the trooper.

He took a step back.

Astounded by your apparent intimidation, you almost missed the volume of the cries instantly diminishing around you, being replaced by hushed whispers, you tore your eyes away from your good friend bucket head to glance around at what was happening, the roaring of the the ship had finally stopped and from the haze that enshrouded the village a tall figure emerged, swathed in black from head to toe, with a flawed metal mask obscuring its face.

It moved like death, swift and lethal.

In no time it had reached it destination, troopers moved to flank it, standing to attention as the creature in the mask gave them orders. Silence cloaked the villagers, tension weighed heavy on their shoulders, every pair of eyes (and the extra ones) fixed on the distorted metal mask partly obscured bu the black cowl hood. You exhaled, the mask snapped in your direction, mentally you recoiled, was it looking at you? physically you held your ground gritting your teeth and staring into yet another pair of black eyes.

The creature took a step forward, but you were torn from your trance as you heard a familiar voice cry out, you whipped your head round to find Sima with a blaster to her forehead, a few metres from where you had last seen her, a few metres closer to you. The stupid girl must have tried to make a run for it.

Idiot.

The trooper appeared to be listening to orders in his helmet, you looked desperately at Sima, conflict tearing through your mind, why bother saving her? You were all going to be dead in a few minutes. Somehow you could feel the eyes of the masked creature on you the whole time.

Cursing yourself and the child in front of you as the trooper lowered his hand from his bucket head and moved it towards the trigger.

You launched yourself towards the hysterical girl.

loosing your blanket at some point during the short journey through the air towards your destination you landed with a skid facing Sima, your back exposed to the trooper above your wrap bandeau you were sleeping in.

The vicious lacerations of your now healed scars on full display.

So much for dying with dignity.

Turning your head to look over your shoulder, keeping your arms wrapped tightly around the young girl, you let out a low snarl,

"Don't touch her"

The trooper went to raise his weapon again but froze, tilting your head slightly to look behind him, the black clad figure stood there, with is arm raised and hand opened slightly, it lowered its hand and the trooper stumbled slightly, turning around to see the creature, and straightening to attention.

You tore your eyes away and looked back to the quivering puddle of fear that Sima had transformed into,

"Don't move, don't speak. Let me handle this" You reprimanded.

Before Sima could respond you were ripped from the girl, letting out a small cry as you were tugged backwards by invisible hands backwards until your back hit fabric. Toes barely dusting the sand, your breathing restricted and coming in strangled gasps.

You couldn't move, couldn't turn your head to see what was behind you, although you didn't need to.

You had put the pieces together when you had first seen the mask, just hadn't allowed the terrifying idea to breach your conscious thoughts. everyone had the heard stories about the incredible power of the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

But why was he here?

Still fixed in place you relied on periphery to track the infamous force user, despite his hulking size he moved with fluidity, with the feline grace of a predator circling its prey.

He towered above you, with your head fixed in place you were forced to stare at his chest. You struggled against the restraint, managing slight twitches and jerks, breathing through your teeth as tears began to pool in your eyes, which you blinked down furiously.

"I cannot read your thoughts. Why is that?"

Your breathing halted, stuck in your throat as you heard his words. The distorted question came low and slowly, a hint of cynicism present in that deep voice.

You stayed silent, mind racing. Struggling to breathe, let alone form a coherent sentence.

A moment passed, with immense effort you managed to raise your line of vision from his chest, reaching his mask, neck muscles straining from the effort.

Then you spat.

You spat. On the Supreme Leader of the First Order,

Was there an end to your idiocy? You presumed no.

The mask tilted slightly. Considering you, his chest rising slightly faster than before, you had riled him.

You watched the spit drip from where it had hit the bottom on his mask onto his cowl.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Another moment of silence passed before he spoke again. This time louder, you probably would have jumped had it not been for you the force holding you in place.

"Kill them all. She's coming with us."

Panic grasped you in full force again. The creature in the mask raised his hand towards you and you heard the clicking of metal as the troopers raised their blasters in sync.

"Wait!" The yell tore out of you throat before you could stop it.

"You don't need to kill them" You gasped out.

He raised his hand above his shoulder and the troopers paused, he tilted his head toward you slightly.

"They're innocent." You continued.

"They're harbouring resistance"

Almost immediately a wave of cool, calm revelation washed over you. Knowing what you had to do allowed your next breath to come controlled and even.

"It's me, I'm the rebel. They didn't know it was me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter down lets goooo
> 
> This fic will be a relatively slow burn with pretty graphic violence and smut
> 
> I also promise fluff and a happy ending (because I'm not a monster unlike Disney) 
> 
> Feel free to interact and leave constructive criticism xoxo


	2. 2. Self Sacrifice is Always a Valid Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren engaged the engine and prepared to leave the scorched surface of Tatooine behind.
> 
> He had always hated sand.

"It's me, I'm the rebel. They didn't know it was me." You said with an incredible calmness, words easing from your throat like ice cold water.

As you saw it, your fate was sealed, but the same could not be said for these people, if as he said he could read your thoughts, then he wouldn't be able to discern your lie.

So you gritted your teeth and looked into the eyes of his mask. A sheer determination set upon your face. Sand saturated wind whipping your hair against your face.

He contemplated before speaking "Very well"

You let out a slight sigh of relief before he spoke again

"Round up the elders and shoot them, from now they will inspect their citizens more carefully."

Chaos erupted as the stormtroopers surged into the crowd and seized the elderly, dragging them out, you turned your head back to the monster in front of you.

Your chest constricted "They're innocent, you can't-"

A leather gloved hand waved in front of your head was the last thing you saw before you were dead to the world.

-Kylo Ren-

Kylo Ren didn't bother looking back as he heard the Troopers firing upon the elders of the sandy shit hole these people called home.

He marched towards the ramp of his command shuttle with the small frame of the girl in his arms.

He didn't have to look down to know her icy blonde hair would be obscuring her face in a way that would make his own itch by looking at it.

It was curious, borderline infuriating that he had felt the urge to come today, obviously he didn't usually attend routine inspections, even when there was rumour of rebel's hiding there.

The Supreme Leader didn't visit lowly villages on Tatooine.

Regardless he followed the trooper transports in his command shuttle, slightly unnerved by the hold his urge had over him.

He had felt her presence as soon as he stepped out of the shuttle, strong, almost tangible.

Alone, he ascended the ramp of his Upsilon-class shuttle and closed it with the force as soon as he stepped into the hanger.

He looked around for somewhere to put his sleeping captive, settling on the round console with the small table in the centre, it was similar to the one his father's ship had.

He placed the small girl down on the seat, her hair finally falling back to reveal her whole face, her small nose twitched a little as her head tilted slightly to lean on her arm.

Kylo tore his eyes away to resume his walk to the cockpit, he decided he wouldn't jump to hyperspace to give him some time to think.

The force was strong in this girl, but she would she be easily manipulated to the dark side? he felt the strong presence of the light within her, swirling in her like a storm, it was what made her jump in front of that girl, what made her sacrifice herself for the villagers.

But he also felt the anger, it drifted of her in waves, an ever-changing current in her mind, directed at others then at herself.

Anger he could work with.

Kylo Ren engaged the engine and prepared to leave the scorched surface of Tatooine behind.

He had always hated sand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daddy Ren be like
> 
> "oh no I think I'm catching feelins"
> 
> Just to clarify whilst this is a "you" story, it's a OC not y/n story, our lovely protagonist has a name and background as well as a set appearance.
> 
> Hope you guys are enjoying


	3. Deal Or No Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're awake"
> 
> That robotic voice came again.
> 
> You didn't know how to describe it.
> 
> It was... crunchy? You were so glad he couldn't hear your thoughts.

Tentatively opening your eyes you blinked a few times as your reality came flooding back to you, vision still blurred you closed your eyes for a moment as your mind raced to catch up with your rapidly beating heart.

Did you really tell the Supreme Leader that you were with the resistance?

And prior to that he said he couldn't read your thoughts.

But wasn't that Jedi 101? Weren't they all supposed to be able to do that.

Some Supreme Leader he was.

You almost laughed out loud, partly at the thought of the infamous Kylo Ren being unable to best you and partly at your entire situation.

Ok. Enough delaying. 

Opening your eyes you were met with a dim room, and directly in front of you was Kylo Ren.

You immediately attempted to move back, but ended up only struggling with your restraints, you were strapped to a bed like contraption, that was tilted at a 45 degree angle from the floor.

Looking down you saw you were wearing the same wrap bandeau and leggings which were incredibly dirty with sand and ash, but the sight of your clothes provided you with some comfort that your dignity remained semi-intact.

So there was that.

"You’re awake"

That robotic voice came again.

You didn't know how to describe it.

It was... crunchy? you were so glad he couldn't hear your thoughts.

"An astute observation" you countered "What gave me away, the eyes opening or the acknowledgement of my surroundings?"

Without even raising a hand your airway was restricted.

As a reflex you attempted to bring your hands to your neck, lurching forward in your restraints.

"The energy you're spending on you're clever remarks is wasted" He replied.

His voice low and quiet, he stood from where he sat, taking only two strides arrive beside your head, his hand reaching out to hover above your face.

In an instant air rushed into your lungs, you took greedy breaths, turning your head from where he stood very much to close for your liking.

Which to be fair would be anywhere from here to the outer rim.

As your chest heaved you felt the kiss of leather underneath your chin, which quickly transformed into a harsh grasp as your head was whipped towards where his mask had become even closer .

Your eyes stayed fixed on his hand above your head as his hand on your chin realised you.

That's when the pain started. 

It felt like someone had slid a wire through your ear and up into your brain, you writhed in the restraints.

"Get. Out. Of . My. Head!" You cried, sentence broken apart by moments of unbearable pain snatching your breath away.

What had meant to be a mental scream flew out of your lungs in anguish. 

Opening your eyes you saw the hand withdraw. The creasing of leather like a choir of Desert Wampa to your overstimulated mind. Turning your head to look towards the mask again you let out a shaky breath

"You are strong with the force" he stated, almost more to himself than you.

Dread filled your gut. You can't pretend the thought hadn't crossed your mind, and when he said he couldn't read your thoughts, it only solidified the idea.

"No. no- I-" You swallowed, bile rising in your stomach.

"I am here to offer you a deal" He interrupted 

"No" You replied simply, you didn't want to hear what you were sure would be a fantastically manipulative monologue.

His chest rose, he moved swiftly from your side.

with his back to you he uttered the words that made your heart drop 

"Then you will die" The harsh baritone voice sent shivers down your spine. 

"Surprise surprise" you shrugged off the anxiety that was clawing at you.

"You will not be mocking me when you're being ejected into space" He advanced again, making your recoil into the headrest "When the oxygen is forced from your lungs in the cold" 

You shuddered a breath, your chest seizing at the thought.

"When you die staring into the abyss of space" He lowered his mechanical voice to a whisper. 

You said nothing, looking away.

A gloved hand found your face again, this time lowering to your neck as it pulled your head back to face him, not applying enough pressure to stop airflow, but enough that you knew of its presence. Which frankly would be hard to ignore.

"All you have to do is join me" He whispered 

"I will never join you, you're a monster, a creature in a mask" Venom dripped from your words, blood dripped from your nose, the strain of the mental invasion taking its toll. The salty viscosity intruding past your lips made you want to gag.

The hand sharply released you, your head smacking against the side of the chair.

Ow.

An audible hiss caught your attention and you snapped your head towards the swaths of heavy black fabric that made up Kylo Ren. 

The front part of his mast had slid forward allowing Ren to reach up and pull it from his head.

You watched, transfixed as the hunk of back and silver metal ascended.

Once off, he put it under his arm to his side, your eyes, you realised, subconsciously had followed the mask and, in doing so, neglected to look at what had been revealed. You dragged your eyes up his tunic and past his cowl, landing on a strong jaw and plump, sloping lips set in a slight sneer, taking your eyes further you took in the healed reminisce of a scar running from the middle of his forehead to where his cowl covered his neck.

His eyes were so dark they were almost black, and his brow sat low and brooding covered slightly by stay strands of thick black hair, his nose was strong and surrounded by groups of freckles and beauty spots. 

Overall, you thought, not the creature you had expected. But evil nevertheless.

"You traded one mask for another" You uttered, tearing your eyes from his, which were intently watching you.

You watched his lip twitch and his fists clench.

Maskless he lowered himself to your height, his face so close to yours you could probably headbutt him if you were so inclined.

But you were transfixed, up close you could see the tiny flecks of gold in his brown eyes, you wanted to cry at the sight of something the than the black screen on the buckets he and the stormtroopers wore.

Again the hand was brought over your face, again you felt his presence in your mind, but this time it wasn't agony, just discomfort, he seemed to be rummaging around in there, treating your synapses like dirty laundry, looking for something, maybe the odd sock or the misplaced key he had left in his pants.

"Get out" you groaned weakly, almost pleading, exhausted, drained.

You couldn't blame yourself, you hadn't eaten in almost three days. 

"Don't be afraid, I feel it too" His voice came, for the first time, undistorted, and although those few words didn't betray much, there was a note of desperation in his tone. 

Your eyes flew open, locking with his, they looked pensive. 

Tearing your gaze away from the man in front of you, that wall looks interesting, wow look at the way it connects with the ceiling! And the floor! At the same time. A Truly impressive piece of architecture.

That wall fascinated you until you heard the soft hiss of his helmet mask clicking back on.

"Then enjoy the night in this cell, it will be your last" 

Panic flooded your veins at his words as he walked away. 

He paused when he got to the door, you couldn't see him because your lovely, very very very comfortable chair faced a lovely very very very interesting wall. But you heard his heavy footfall stop before the doors opened.

Finally he spoke "How did you get the scars on your back?"

You sharply inhaled, the phantom lashes that stung your mind whenever the topic was raised in full force, and tears blurred your periphery.

"A whip" you responded shortly, trying desperately to keep the break you felt in your throat from your voice, "How did you get the scar on your face?"

Another pause, for a second you thought you had missed him leaving in your slight delirium.

But he spoke again "A battle" 

The doors hissed as they opened and the comfort of the heavy footfall was abruptly cut short as they closed, leaving you alone with a maddening silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its only chapter three and our lovers are bonding over trauma, aren't I generous.


	4. Propel Me Into Space Why Don't You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I was just on my was to see you jetted into space, what a surprise this encounter is" he mocked. 
> 
> "Supreme Leader! Was that a hint of sarcasm I heard? I'm really rubbing off on you" You replied snarkily. 
> 
> Ten minutes ago you were ready to die, now you just weren't in the mood.

It was a miracle you managed to fall asleep in the toxic silence of that lonely cell.

You began to hope Ren would come back simply for companionship, so you could make jabs at him until he ultimately took out that infamous light sword of his and ended you.

It might seem cowardly to give up, to not fight or try to escape, but hope simply evaded you, just out of your grasp as it had been most of your life.

So you slept. Then waited. Then slept again. Then waited some more. flitting in and out of consciousness you could barley distingish between the two.

Never resting truly resting, only facing equal torment in both states. 

You relived the hellish encounters with the shady clientele of Yon Morg's bar, the lashes you received from the cruel end of a whip, the lonely nights you spent weeping. And that fateful night you were ripped from the numbing existence of your tattered normality.

Just as you were beginning to succumb to another round of battle with your subconscious in the nightmare ridden dreamscape you heard the tell-tale hiss of the doors to your cell opening.

You took a deep breath, readying yourself for what was to come, or rather, mourning what wasn't to come, a life full of excitement and adventure. One that, although unlikely, was still a possibility on Tatooine. 

The conflict within you was back in full force, part of you was ready to die, to accept your fate, but the other part was angry, not willing to let the life you dreamed of go. So incredibly angry at yourself for sacrificing it for those ungrateful people on Tatooine.

You couldn't go down without a fight.

Steadying your mind you readied yourself for a chance to flee.

The anger was rising inside you now, on the verge of overspilling. But more potent still was your desperation, to see the glistening seas of Naboo, to witness the trees of Endor. 

Once again you made your choice.

As soon as you were physically free you rammed one foot into the groin of unsuspecting the trooper who freed your legs and flung your arm out towards the trooper who freed your arms.

Despite not touching the second trooper they both flew and hit the wall.

You had just used the force.

Wasting no time on the revelation of your strength you sprinted out of the cell, skidding slightly in the corridor before swiftly choosing a direction and pursuing it, the dark corridors glistening as you sprinted through, turning a corner you nearly ran head first into two patrolling trooper, after a seconds recovery you turned and sprinted in the other direction, hearing them yell militant codes into their helmets. 

This wasn't part of the plan.

Granted there was no plan.

Still. 

You dashed away from where they surprisingly weren't firing, strange, you didn't take the First Order to have a lenient stance on prisoners escaping.

You retraced your steps and found the other troopers stumbling out of your cell. So not that way either.

Looking back over your shoulder you turned another corner.

You hit something. Stumbling back you looked up.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Who the hell looks behind them when they turn a corner?

Supremely The Most Importantest Leader Lord Kylo infuriating Ren stood before you, adorned with his mask and cloak.

Whirling around again, you didn't make it far before a hand grabbed the back of your neck, large hands wrapping around the entirety of it and pulling you back until once again your back hit his broad chest.

His other arm wrapped around your waist.

"I was just on my was to see you jetted into space, what a surprise this encounter is" he mocked. 

"Supreme Leader! Was that a hint of sarcasm I heard? I'm really rubbing off on you" You replied snarkily. 

Ten minutes ago you were ready to die, now you just weren't in the mood.

You wriggled in Ren's grip, but it was useless, that man was like a rock, 

"Kriff"

One second our feet were firmly planted on the floor and the next they were at Ren's chest, with your torso flung over his shoulder, you beat senselessly on his back with your fists, demanding to be put down and hurling every curse in the galactic dictionary at him.

Ren proceeded down the corridor you ran down, he spoke to the troopers that had been chasing you before throwing them aside with the force and walking past them. You made sure to make room for them in your string of foul language, it went something like:

"Kriffing Bucket wearing numbskull nerfhearders" But with some added profanities sprinkled in.

You didn't stop struggling against Ren's firm grip on your thigh for the short journey, it made sense that the prisoner section would be close to the place where you would be executed.

When he finally set you down you attempted to make another run for it but he wrapped another arm around you before you could take a full step, trapping your arms to your side and your body to his side as he punched in the code to the black gemming door.

The door slid open with a sickening scrape.

The tears were coming out now, kriff, a blaster shot would have been so much easier. 

In your panic you started talking again as Ren started to turn to push you into the room.

"No no no no no- let you go you great lump of- no no no" 

Noble to the end.

With little effort he pushed you through the door and and into the antechamber, you glimpsed the wall in front of you that would open and shoot you out into space, you spun round to see Ren press the button that closed the doors. 

"Goodbye little rebel" the decoded voice spoke after a moment, both of you frozen in time 

"NO" You pushed against the wall in frustration. 

But the had door closed and you, iced with shock, turned again to look out the window on the wall to the galaxy, the intoxicating array of stars seemed to almost call to you. 

You would be among them soon.

Tears streaming down you face you turned back to the window on the door. 

Ren's mask took up the whole view.

Suddenly a booming voice, that despite only hearing once you could recognise anywhere, filled your head.

"Accept the offer, join me"

You shook your head. Lungs tightening, the option tangible, so tantilisingly easy. 

"Join me little rebel" the words reverberated around your skull, only audible inside your head.

You were broken from your trance as flashing red lights caught your attention, panic consumed you, your heart beating out of control. 

looking out to space you heard the deafening creak of the wall beginning to open.

The shaking in your legs became too much and you collapsed to your knees. 

You knew what you had to do to survive. But you had only seconds to make the choice, it wasn't enough, it would never be enough.

So you did then what you did in that small village in Tatooine, you made a rash decision that could potentially ruin your life. 

But this one would at least secure you one.

You followed that thread in your mind that Ren had spoke down, sending your own message back. 

"I want to live"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh the cliffhanger... Oh the pain


	5. Damsel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But it wasn't the room that did this to her.
> 
> He knew that. But it was a necessary evil, only a step toward her becoming powerful. A step towards a place where no one could hurt her.
> 
> A place at his side.

"I want to live" your weak voice pushed down the thread in your mind.

Immediately the red lights stopped flashing, but your racing heart didn't.

You knew it was over but you couldn't slow your breathing. Couldn't stop the phantom suffocation tightening around your lungs.

The shaking persisted, every inch of your body seemed to be channelling the fear, panic and exhaustion you were experiencing 

In the back of your mind you heard the doors slid open, heard footsteps approach you, saw Ren squat down in front of you through tear blurred eyes.

Felt the leather grip under your chin as he tilted your chin towards his mask, but your eyes couldn't focus on him, your ears couldn't tune in as he spoke quietly to you.

A flash of black passed through your vision then you felt weight on your shoulder and you began to feel warmer.

Then like the damsel you were you fainted. 

Right into the arms of the most dangerous man in the galaxy.

-Kylo Ren-

"I want to live" 

As soon as she uttered those four words he stopped the light show in the spare cargo room.

Her first lesson as his student was over, and she had passed. 

Not quite with flying colours, maybe a C+ at best, if he had really meant to kill her she would have been in space by now.

He could have, he'd considered it, but she would be valuable.

Untouched by the Jedi's propaganda she was perfect to mould and uncorrupted by the Sith training he himself had undergone she was the untapped source of light. The perfect amalgamation.

She was a mess when he opened to door and went to her. Understandable, she really had though he was going to kill her, he had reacted similarly after his first brush with death. 

Kneeling in the centre of the chamber, back ridged and fists clenched by her sides, blonde hair spilling down her back to her waist, the scars of her past peaking through.

He walked around her, she didn't move, he could feel the panic rolling of her a bundle of anxiety in the force, he bent at the knees as an attempt to bring himself to her level, it was unsuccessful, he still towered above her.

He was admittedly unsure of himself in the department of comforting.

Gently bringing her head to see him he saw the tears in her eyes, the ones rolling down her cheeks and the ones dried on her neck.

"Breathe little rebel" 

His words fell on deaf ears.

She was shaking so badly he thought she might be having some kind of seizure, but he could feel the cool of her skin through the leather of his glove, her presence in the force was also becoming cooler, dimming as her hyperventilation drained her energy.

The sight her her pretty little face contorted by the denial of her lungs to cooperate with her body made his chest constrict a little, made him want to take his lightsaber and slice the room that housed her trauma to pieces.

But it wasn't the room that did this to her.

He knew that. But it was a necessary evil, only a step toward her becoming powerful. A step towards a place where no one could hurt her.

A place at his side.

Keeping one hand on her arm he pulled his cloak off and flung it around her shoulders, it enveloped her, cocooning her in darkness.

He felt her presence in the force drastically dim before her eyes drooped and she fell into his chest, his arms instinctively tightening around her small fame. 

His sigh was mangled by his mask as he picked her up.

Taking her out of that room felt like a weight lifting off his chest.

He just couldn't let her past his defences, he wouldn't.

His old master had warned him about this sort of thing 

But he had killed him, so his advice clearly wasn't the best. 

Lost in thought he realised something about the path he was stomping through the Supremacy's halls.

He was taking her back to his chambers.

-'Little Rebel'-

"Ow"

You groaned as you rolled onto your side, muscles crying out in protest.

Was this what the cold abyss of space felt like? It was so soft, more like clouds. You wiggled your toes, so satiny, so...

Did you enter an atmosphere?

You were no physician but that was certainly impossible.

Also you were breathing. A good indication that something had gone awry in the Supreme Leader's plan to kill you. The steady pumping of your heart slowly brought life back to your limbs, letting your chest deflate in a long exhale you opened your eyes, a gleaming dark distinctly very first ordery ceiling was above you.

Hell. you were in hell. 

What the kriff what did you do to deserve that?

But you could see the outline of your blurry reflection in that ceiling. So obnoxiously shiny, you were in a bed, not clouds.

Pleased to find that you could, you moved, rolling away from your reflection and rubbing your eyes before looking around.

Kylo Ren had his back to you, he stood across the room his hands were braced on his desk, he had lost his cloak and helmet, so for him, practically naked.

Escape.

It was getting rather repetitive but it was the first thing that crossed your mind.

Easing the sheets from where they were tangled around your legs you slid your feet to the ground, careful not to make a sound you pushed yourself to your feet.

Glancing to Kylo Ren you saw he was still in the same position.

You took steps towards the door, your heart beating wildly, thumping so hard you were certain he must be able to hear it.

While it may not have been your heart that alerted him, something certainly did because no sooner had you touched the control pad on the door you heard his voice

Again you were tugged backwards, again you landed facing away from him with his arm trapping your's to your sides.

"We must stop running into each other like this " Sarcasm saturating his deep voice.

"Let go of me" you gritted out.

"Stop running" he replied lowly.

"Stop chasing" You fired back attempting to wriggle away from his Fibrolite grip. 

He exhaled through that strong nose of his, you felt it on the top of your head.

"You'll stay here, sleep in that bed tonight. While we are training tomorrow i'll have another installed"

"In here? No no no way I'd rather room with a Yarkora"

"Don't forget your place here little rebel, your title as my apprentice changes nothing you are still a prisoner" Now it was his turn to grit his teeth, annoyance leaking from his tone.

You attempted to move out of his grip again, gritting your teeth. You couldn't figure out which title angered you more, "Apprentice" or "Prisoner"

But he tightened his arm around you, leaning down to your ear making the little hairs on the back of you neck rise.

"My prisoner"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter, hope everyone is enjoying, please feel free to interact with comments, queries and concerns.
> 
> Maybe some constructive criticism.
> 
> But also some praise. definitely praise ;)


	6. My Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The snarky response you had surely prepared died in your throat, a suffocating fear taking its place.
> 
> Releasing you from the prison of his arms you whirled around to face him. 
> 
> He looked down to you, face cold as ever, but eyes glowing slightly with a humour that you had not seen in them before

"My prisoner"

The snarky response you had surely prepared died in your throat, a suffocating fear taking its place.

Releasing you from the prison of his arms you whirled around to face him. 

He looked down to you, face cold as ever, but eyes glowing slightly with a humour that you had not seen in them before, those golden flecks swirling, as he scanned your face, more alive than you had seen them thus far. 

After a small moment of silence he turned to a chest of draws beside him, loosing sight of his eyes made the fear sprawl in your chest again, blooming thought you arms and making your fingers tingle, clutching around your lungs and restricting you breath. 

Opening a draw and rummaging inside it, his cape twisting around the upper portion of his body whilst his legs stayed fixed, you took the moment to glance up and down his body, the ribbed material of his trouser stuffed into the matt boots that reached his mid shin. 

He turned back to you only to see you shaking and clutching your arms. You etched a frown onto your brow, hoping to seem more hateful than scared. It was true at heart that you were both, but outwardly you knew he could probably only sense your overwhelming fear. 

"Stop" You blurted, the bottled nervous energy spilling out of you.

"Stop what Little Rebel?" He asked coldly a smirk carving through the thin scar running down his cheek.

"Stop whatever you're doing" You tried to back track whilst also back physically back tracking, taking a step away from him.

"You can sleep naked then" He said calmly, turning back to the draws.

You ran the steps you had retreated in seconds, grabbing the material he was about to return to the draw, looking up at him indignantly as he held onto it as you pulled. 

When he finally let go you examined it, unfurling what you now saw to be a shirt. 

Guess what colour it was.

Guess.

It was pink with little Ithorian roses.

No. It was black, and large by the looks of it. That didn't surprise you as you eyed the hulking man in front of you, raising an eyebrow as you watched him watch you, considering you.

You glared at him as he spoke "Go and take a shower, wear this after, clothes will be sent for you tomorrow" You balled the fabric up in your hands, ready to pitch it right back at his stupid head.

His lips twitched slightly, ever patronising you, daring you to provoke him.

With that he turned away, leaving you to pick your jaw up from the polished floor.

This was a fever dream. It had to be, you had been given some bad portions by the scoundrel boy in in Morg's kitchens.

But looking down at your dirty clothes, torn and saturated with sweat and blood, perhaps a shower wouldn't totally displeasing.

Washing away the dirt of Tatooine felt heavenly, but the memories of that room were stuck in your mind, playing in a demented loop over the roaring of the shower as it pelted your back.

The scalding water running streaks down your back brought you back to the whippings you had faced on Tatooine.

You found yourself scrubbing you skin raw, baring you teeth as you let out frustrated sobs, trying so desperately to clean yourself of the crippling memories. Sliding your back down the shower tiles you landed on the floor taking heaving breaths. 

Tears merging with the shower jets, squeezing your eyes shut to blackout the memories which had twined together, switching between the whippings and the execution-to-be.

It must have taken a good five minutes to calm down your aching chest, to be able to open your eyes and stand from the shower floor.

But sure- getting the last particles of sand out from the places the sun don't shine felt marvellous.

rubbing your hair with the towel as you stepped out of the refresher, you glanced around the room no sight of moody man child anywhere only shining metal, a desk that looked like it was made out of fibroglass, and a few chests of draws. Casting the towel away to land somewhere on the floor you paused, looking towards the doors, was an escape possible now? Yes.

Was an escape probable? No. 

So reasonably, you didn't receive much protest from your exhausted body when you fell onto the bed and promptly drifted soundly to sleep.

-Kylo Ren-

The Supreme Leader of the First Order had abandoned his chambers when he had head the muffled sobs of the crying girl in his shower.

He had grabbed his helmet, and stormed to a far corridor of the Supremacy where he ignited his lightsaber and tore through wall after wall.

He couldn't explain why he felt the anger he did, but listening to her cry made his chest hurt, it made his heart pound in anger.

He had promised himself no attachments, but whilst he tore those gleaming walls apart he came to some clarity, he remembered the teachings of his old master, that passion could drive a Sith to become stronger, that it could help him access the force further.

He supposed that's why Snoke never condemned any of his one night stands or punished him when his mind had drifted to the previous nights activities during training.

A passion, that is what could make him stronger. Could make both of them stronger.

Kylo left his Knights to train by themselves for a further hour in the impromptu training session he had called to divert his energy, he headed back to his chambers, their combat skills where in no need of his critique anyway.

Marching through the corridors of the Supremacy he received the obligatory nods from officers and salutes from troopers. 

The supremacy at night was no different to the day, suspended in space there was really no such constraints as time, but every personnel was assigned a day or night shift regardless. This resulted the ship remaining alive at all hours, but sleepily so, never truly humming with life, always half dead.

He turned the corner to his chambers, subtly picking up his pace as he searched for the girl's presence within the force. Two stormtroopers had to dive out of his path of destruction as he approached his chambers.

Ren couldn't feel the girl's presence.

He sped up his walk, anger eating at his mind, how incompetent could he be to allow her to escape twice within one cycle. Punching in the code to his chamber he stormed through the door, hand hovering over his saber, itching to guide it through the metal walls.

But there she lay, sheets strewn across her haphazardly.

She stirred slightly as he burst in, he was half in awe he didn't wake her, in all his cape billowing foot stomping glory.

He watched her turn onto her side, dragging the covers to expose her leg. Her hair a startling white against his black sheets, her slight figure dwarfed further by the size of his bed.

He walked over to the bed pulling his mask off and placing it on the bedside table, crouching down next to the bed he brushed a piece of hair from her face, eyes wandering down her neck and to her exposed arm, where there were raised welts all along the inside of her forearm, long pink scratch marks marring her smooth skin.

His eyebrows knitted together, raising gloved hand he gently ran his finger down the tender marks, watching as her face contort in discomfort. Withdrawing his hand he averted his gaze and sighed. 

Standing and stripping from his cloak and tunic he made a beeline to his desk.

Picking up his datapad he sighed again, eyeing the girl lying on his bed, before settling in for a long night of business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're meeting some of my personal faves next chapter so hold onto your socks my young padawans xoxo


	7. Meet The Knights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What's on the agenda for today Supreme Leader? Genocide or kidnapping?"
> 
> He turned to you, face stoney "Get up or I make you get up"
> 
> You sat still, pondering just how far you could push your captor.

You woke to a room void of Kylo Ren, and lord were you you happy for it.

Yawning and stretching and wriggling in the overly comfortable bed you exercised your free limbs to their full extent.

You lifted your hands to your face, examining them in the dim light of the chamber, your hands were raw and dry from the life you lead on Tatooine, and your wrists bruised and scabbed from the life you lead here.

The scratches on your arms still prominent, and itchy.

The hiss of the door broke you from your examination, you didn't need to look to tell who it was, you could feel the darkness of his presence.

There was also the fact that it was his chambers you resided in, so there wasn't much guessing to be done.

You gathered the sheets around you and pressed yourself into the headboard, glaring straight ahead as Ren stepped into your vision.

"Get up"

You continued to glower, balling your hands into fists under the long sleeves of the shirt he gave you.

"So now you can be quiet?" He said offhandedly as he turned away, tearing you from your cold shoulder plan as you went to object. Clicking his helmet and taking it off, placing it on the desk and picking up a data pad.

You clamped your mouth shut before you could give him what he wanted.

But he felt your need to respond, and worse he felt your need to prove him wrong.

So, silent or not you knew he knew you were fighting a loosing battle.

"What's on the agenda for today Supreme Leader? Genocide or kidnapping?"

He turned to you, face stoney "Get up or I make you get up"

You sat still, pondering just how far you could push your captor.

Lowering a portion of your mind wall you allowed some loud thoughts about what you thought of him, your well thought out random statement included some profanities, some excellent vocabulary choices and very little grammar. 

You looked up to him from where you sat on the bed, eyes wide and blinking with mock innocence. 

"Stupidly well-formed arse?" He repeated? A humorous smirk gracing his cheeks.

Your brow fell and your cheeks flushed, "That's really what you chose to pick out from that?" You said irritatedly.

Your rebellion was quickly extinguished when his raised his hand to use his stupid magic powers on you. Springing up, abandoning the sheet as you stood in front of him, slightly closer than you had meant, conscious of your barely covered legs.

You shot your most foul glare at him he looked down at your, gaze partly triumphant and partly sardonic.

Deities you hated him.

Brushing past him with heaps of completely warranted aggression you stormed into the refresher.

Ren had left you a uniform similar to his own on the counter. You strode over to it, rummaging through the pile of clothes with a frustrated hand.

It was black, of course.

Coarse too, you came to realise this as you ran a gentle finger over the well tailored material.

You shrugged it on, thick, strong material weighing heavily on your shoulders. A high collar and long straight sleeves that came to a slight flare flowed down your body, but tightening the belt around your waist it felt like it was strangling you.

Sitting on the toilet to slip on the socks and combat boots you could quiet the loud frustration that rung in your head, a lack of acceptance pinching at the edges of your mind at all time.

Huffing you straightened, turning to look in the narrow mirror, honestly you could just look at any wall on this forsaken ship to the same effect. It wasn't comfortable, neither was it your style, but damn did you look good.

You settled for loosely braiding you hair as you had nothing to tie it with.

Stepping back into the chamber you looked to where Kylo Ren still stood with the data pad. He didn't even look to you before speaking, 

"there's food at my desk, eat before we leave" He spoke apathetically, still looking down at his data pad.

He didn't even appreciate your new fit. Rudeness of unmated quantities.

Huffing and walking over to the desk you found a bowl of grey slush and a bread bun, you sat in the large black chair, it was lightly cushioned and comfortable, you sighed as you sunk into its massive frame, eagerly shovelling the slush down your throat.

Looking up from your meal only once finished you found Kylo looking at you now, cheeks heating as you realised he had been watching you eat like a slob.

"Come here"

You stood your ground, or more accurately, sat your ground. You were taking the offence.

The offence was definitely your style.

But Kylo Ren didn't seem to be the defensive type either.

This time he conceded first, striding to you. revealing what had been concealed behind the data pad.

A pair of stun cuffs. You couldn't take your eyes off them, pushing yourself into the back rest of your chair.

"Put your hands out" his voice was monotone.

"No" you replied slowly, looking up to him with a furrowed brow.

"Don't make me repeat myself little rebel" His tone lowering, annoyance salting his tongue.

"I don't need them" an argumentative tone coating your tongue. He chewed on the inside if his cheek, clearly trying to check his anger.

How considerate.

"It will content the officers " He sighed, eyes intense as ever as they bored into yours.

"Kriff the officer's contentment" You waved you hands up in frustration.

"Do I need to remind you again of your status abroad this ship?" That sardonic tone was back again, it's derisive edge threatening to cut your rage free.

"No" you gritted, struggling to keep your voice level. Staring him down.

"Then give me your hands" he hissed, taking a step towards you.

"You cannot control me" you snarled, with no where to go you were a caged animal.

His cheek twitched, a smirk pulling his plump lips upwards.

"I will" His words shook me. 

The words caught you of guard allowing him to tug you up and towards him with the force. Your hands were dragged to where the cuffs sat, snapping into place.

You let out a slight growl, eyes wild as you looked up to him

"You will never control me"

Hostility floated from him, seeming to trail from the bottom of his billowing cape as his feet pounded the floors of the corridors.

You walked in front of him, having to double your stride to keep a good distance from him.

The fiery heat of his gaze kept you from running, laying like a heavy load on your shoulders. You kept your head high was you passed the stormtroopers, you hoped the word had spread of how you had kicked trooper butt in your cell, the last thing you needed on

You couldn't tell however because the unease rolling off them as they passed was almost certainly caused by the ball of dark energy that was behind you.

Ren had to take hold of your shoulder to get you to stop when you had arrived at the meeting room, you jolted, too lost in thought to register the invasion of your personal space.

He didn't seem to be one for personal space.

You allowed him to steer you into the room before shrugging his iron grip off. The room was plain, extravagant like most of the first order's interior, but in a clean, polished and minimalistic way. It contained one long table a control centre in the far corner and a device on the table that looked like a holograph projector.

Sat at the table were five men, all staring intently at you, The man with a face littered with scars and stubble was analysing you with a militant, critical eye, there was a younger man next to him who looked at you with curiosity. The two men next too them had distasteful sneers on their lips. However, neither could compete with the mocking sneer that practically tore the haughty ginger man's face apart, you could feel the hatred seeping from him like dioxis gas.

They all stood as Ren entered, Ginger guy noticeable standing with much less enthusiasm and a good few seconds behind the others, you could tell he was trying to antagonise Ren, perhaps promotion envy?

Ren placed a hand on the small of you back which made you grit your teeth, he guided you to the head of the table, he stood slightly behind you to your side.

"Officers" He greeted, the helmet mangling the booming greeting.

You felt on display, as though you would be more at home in this room in a glass box with a plaque. 

"I have called this meeting to introduce you to my apprentice" He boomed, the eruption of his decoded voice almost making you jump.

"She will be training with me until she is fit to join the knights and I on missions" he continued.

A moment of silence was interrupted by Sneer Face opening his thin lipped mouth to let out a drawling "And what of her affiliation to the Resistance?" he dragged his eyes over your form, lingering on your waist where the belt accentuated you curves.

God you wanted to pour scalding hot wax on his stupid side burns and rip them off his stupid head. 

You stared him down through another second of silence before he added the obligitory "Supreme Leader"

The other officers shifted uncomfortably at his blatant challenge.

"The affiliation was tenuous at best, she will submit to me- to the First Order"

You twisted you head to look up to him, scrunching his nose in distaste at his proclamation

The men around the table raised their eyebrows turning to give unsubtle looks to each other. Ren stiffened by your side, no doubt hearing the officers insubordinate thoughts. Part you couldn't wait to learn that part of being a Jedi, gossip was a fun pass time in the drudgery of day to day in Morg's town, and with access to anyones mind... the tidbits of personal information you could access made you want to drool.

You realised then that you wanted the power he had, you wanted to be superior to these grovelling men, for them to fear you like they did the powerful man beside you. You needed the power so that you never had to lead an existence as you had on Tatooine.

Your brow lowered, tearing your eyes away from the gaggle of pathetic officers you looked up to the masked Sith Lord beside you, he shifted he head slightly, shooting you a diagonal look. You projected along the bond that lead to his mind "I want to leave" you said.

"Patience little rebel" he replied out loud, causing the officers to cease their blabbering and look towards you both, his mechanical words sending shocks of fear through their spines.

You clenched your fists under the flared leaves of your robe, you look away from the empty eyes of his helmet, its gaze burning a hole into your head as you looked to the floor.

The ginger man interrupted your train of thoughts again, a squeaking drawl leaving his mouth "You picked a pretty little thing for an apprentice Ren, if she fails her training with you I'd be happy to train her myself"

You saw red, both you and Kylo whipped your arms up towards the General, sending him flying towards the back wall with such velocity you could be sure his spine crunched.

You dropped your hand first, looking towards it with shock and slight disgust and your violent tendencies.

Ren kept his hand up, the General stayed suspended, struggling with the invisible chock hold he was locked in.

The infuriated ball of black cloth marched towards the General, stopping at the end of the table, next to the chair that so recently the ginger idiot had sat at.

His voice was deep, a new level of sinister that you had not yet heard from him, "My apprentice ranks above the lowly level of General, you will show her the respect she deserves. As your superior"

The General went an even deeper red, still gasping for air as Ren held him at the wall for a moment longer before dropping him into a sprawling gaping mess.

He definitely wasn't in the state to spew anymore insults, you were glad, you'd rather listen to a blash'narl feed than one more second of that idiot man's voice.

The Supreme Leader walked past you on his way to exit the meeting room, taking one last look at the petrified faces of the men at the tables, before turning on your heel and following Kylo out the door.

"Where are we going now?" you huffed out finally after minutes of walking through identical corridors.

"To meet the knights" he growled, even with the decoder mangling his words you could sense his lingering anger.

"Right." you said, panic creeping up on you.

"Be calm little rebel, they won't kill you without my order" He gave you a side long look.

"Good to know Supreme Leader good to know" you said mockingly.

"They are obedient, unlike you" he added, making you look indignantly up at him, unfortunately there was no comeback to that one.

You almost bumped into him when he stopped in front of a pair of double doors, Ren looked down to you again as you shuffled your weight from foot to foot. He held our his hands, you raised an eyebrow, hesitating, he sighed, grabbing you cuffed wrists and releasing them, you rubbed them tentativley. 

Giving you a small nod he opened the door.

He stepped in first, his presence felt immediately by the men in the room, they stood to attention, militant in their synchronisation, before filing towards where Ren stood waiting for them, forming a line facing of him.

They all wore masks, each seemed to be a variant of Kylo's, one spoke up, a casual tone still laced with respect for his master.

"Is there a mission for us Master Ren?" He spoke, his mask was divided into small squares with only a small mesh visor for visibility.

"No Vicrul" Ren turned to you, you stepped through the door hesitantly to stand just behind Him "I have someone to introduce, this is my new apprentice"

Despite the masks you could sense the eyes on you, feeling crushed under the weight you, but you lifted your chin and scanned their masked faces one by one, refusing to cower in front of yet another set of entitled men.

A different mask spoke now, this one had visors on each side "The force is strong in her" he spoke gruffly.

"She will train mainly with me until she is ready to accompany us on missions" Kylo announced.

He placed a hand on the small of you back as he pushed you towards the right of the the line, once you reached the first masked knight who had spoken you shrugged off his hand, a gesture which, surprisingly he allowed.

"Knights introduce yourselves"

"Vicrul, hand to hand combat" The first knight spoke, he sounded cold and distant, much like his master. He offered you no outreach of welcome.

Moving down the line you looked up to a Knight with a mask shaped like a elongated skull, he had his hood raised up over it. "Ap'lek, the smart one I suppose you could say" The men let out chuckles at his confidence.

Ap'lek looked down to you, somehow you could sense a smile emulating from under his mask, it was one you couldn't return.

"Cardo, In charge of explosives" He stated cockily, but a reply from somewhere down the line had his head whipping away from you "He just likes blowing things up" More laughter followed, Cardo only huffed. His mask was simple and quite rounded, but he held a cannon like contraction on his arm, you gulped as you looked down to it, you could only imagine the damage one blast could do to a person.

"Kuruk, I deal with stealth operations" The Knight that stood before you was the one who had sensed you strength in the force, he gave you a subtle nod as you looked into his strange helmet.

"Name's Trudgen, apprentice, I'm master in the martial arts" Another overly confident introduction, You watched you eyes widen in the reflection of his wide vibrocleaver the whole blade was the length of your torso, he wore a heavy tabard and hood with scavenged armour plates all along his chest. His helmet looked disarming similar to a troopers, only with sharper angles and crevices.

As Kylo guided you to the last knight, you looked up to the mask armed with filtration antiox tubes but it was Kylo that spoke, "This is Ushar" he leaned down towards your ear, whispering whilst looking to Ushar "He doesn't speak, silent but vicious" He showed you no recognition, staring only straight ahead, he had swung a blunt war club over his shoulder, you gulped as you basked in his silence.

"Resume training, reconvene at second shift" The master of the Knights of Ren ordered turning, you lingered looking up into the mask of Ushar, he lowered his head slightly, indicating he was looking at you too.

He was definitely your favourite.

"Apprentice" Kylo boomed, you slowly turned and trudged after him.

A voice from the men behind you stopped you in your tracks "Doesn't the 'apprentice' have anything to say for herself?" The emphasis on 'apprentice' was clearly mocking, you spun around to see the first Knight, Vicrul had taken a step forward. The edges of your vision tainted with red.

You spoke without thinking, "I don't plan on sticking around to know any of you, I have nothing to say to Kylo Ren's little maids. Keep your distance from me and I'll do the same" The words slid harshly from your tongue like sandpaper. The men stood for a moment before Ushar took three steps towards you, he gave you a nod, quick and efficient before turning and walking to the weight section of the training room.

The other Knights nodded and chuckled, murmuring to each other, slowly each nodding to you and dispersing to continue with their activities. Until only one remained.

Vicrul, he stood fast, staring you down before swinging his sword menacingly and rejoining his fellow Knights.

You stayed where you stood for a moment, stunned at their apparent acceptance of you into their group.

Spinning slowly on your heel you joined Kylo Ren at the door way blowing fly aways out of your face as you walked.

He looked down to you, and from the harshness of the breaths coming from his mask as he tugged your wrists to him and snapped the stun cuffs on, he was not happy with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reckon those cuffs will come in handy later ;)


	8. Back Where We Started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looked sad. Upset. Not happy. Sorrowful. You were speechless, but a set of puppy dog eyes wasn't going to shake your resolve.
> 
> "The galaxy you want to offer me doesn't include my freedom'
> 
> You expected outrage, a tantrum, hissyfit and some lightsaber destruction. But this time a slight smirk creasing his jaw.
> 
> "If you will not know your place you will learn it"

The walk back to Ren's chamber was tense and deafeningly silent, the indimitating aura that rolled off him had increased ten fold since your impromptu stunt with the Knights.

Kriff why couldn't you keep your mouth shut. 

The doors slid open before he reached them, he didn't slow his pace as you trudged in after him.

The door slid shut as you stood in front of it, eyes downcast. The tell-tale hiss of his helmet releasing and a strange hum made your eyes whip upwards. 

You couldn't describe it, 

Maybe like a VVVVMMMM

Or SWWWWMMMM

Onomatopoeia was not your strong suit.

Kylo stood in the middle of the room with his lightsaber ignited, the unstable red electrical flames danced violently as his chest heaved. 

Eyes illuminated in the glow of the saber he looked upon you with fury in his eyes.

"You think you can disrespect me in front of my Knights?" He seethed, covering the room in two strides, pressing the saber to your neck, the energy pouring from the cross-guard licking at the exposed skin of your throat.

"I told you, you will never control me" Your eyes burned too with the fire of the red light. 

"You will submit" He brought his face so close to yours you could feel his breath on you cheek, Ren punched his fist into the door, making you flinch slightly. You dropped your eyes to the floor, pressing yourself into the door so hard you thought you would simply merge with the metal.

But you gritted your teeth and raised your chin, locking eyes with the monster before you "Never" gathering saliva in your mouth you angled your head down again and spat, hard. Right onto his shoe, your aim was always scholar.

He pushed of the wall, you gasped at the relief of the cool air soothing the burns on your neck.

He swing his lightsaber straight through his desk, eliciting a small yelp from you, the most anger you had witnessed at Yon Morg's was a handful of drunkards sloppily hitting each other over a stolen portion. 

"You are nothing!" He roared, facing you once more.

He stepped closer again, you turned your head but he gripped your chin, pulling your face towards his 

"I am not some mindless droid to do your bidding" You hissed, staring straight into his dark eyes.

A different emotion clouded his eyes, one that you had seen before, in the cell when you had first seen him without his mask, it was desperation. 

His lightsaber hummed as it was withdrawn into the hilt, he exhaled through his nose, still gripping your chin he looked away for a moment, before retuning his gaze to you. 

He grabbed your arm and pulled you across the room, you felt like a rag doll under the exertion of his strength. He arrived at the far wall, jamming a hand into a hidden control panel he revealed a shuttered window that stretched the length of the wall.

He placed you in front of him, gripping the sides of your arms too tight for comfort, you pulled away from where he locked you in place, to no avail. All you could do was look up into his stormy eyes.

His aggression hadn't yet quelled, he only gripped you harder as his voice once again broke the tension in he air. 

"I am trying to offer you the galaxy" He released one arm, spinning you into his chest, leaving you facing the window.

The constellations filled your vision, eyes widening as they frantically attempted t take everything in.

Ren stood behind you looking at your reflection in the glass, watching as your pupils dilated in wonder, watching as you sucked in a breath.

"Why won't you let me?" His voice was hushed, almost a whisper as he stared at your face. The question seeped into every pore on you skin chilling you to the core. You looked up to find his eyes, but only to find those same eyes that had been hooded with anger wide with sadness.

He looked sad. Upset. Not happy. Sorrowful. You were speechless, but a set of puppy dog eyes wasn't going to shake your resolve.

"The galaxy you want to offer me doesn't include my freedom'

You expected outrage, a tantrum, hissyfit and some lightsaber destruction. But this time a slight smirk creasing his jaw.

"If you will not know your place you will learn it" He uttered. Your eyes widened at his sudden change in tone, it was as though a switch had flicked inside that demented brain of his. But you doubted that switch had flicked in your favour.

If anything you were more terrified than ever.

He grabbed your still cuffed arm, dragging you to his side before opening the door and shoving his mask back on. 

Being pulled along identical corridors by the Supreme Leader of the first order was about as pleasant as it sounded, his relentless pace had you stumbling more than once, of course Mr Considerate did nothing but tug you up and continue.

The corridors may be the same but nothing could erase these corridors from your mind, you were back that the prisoner block, you dug you feet into the ground.

"No-kylo-wait" You stuttered, the memories of the room you were almost certainly headed to brining tears to your eyes, they slipped down you face.

He turned to you, looking down on you through that mask before wordlessly bending down and hauling you over his shoulder.

Letting out a small scream in shock you beat your cuffed hands into his back, Tears falling onto the belt that carried his damned saber. 

Before you knew hit you were back in that white room, Ren threw you of his shoulder into a sprawling heap on the floor, you scrambled you your knees then to your feet.

You rushed for the door, but just before you met it you were greeted with the familiar hum of the lightsaber, Ren walked around you, lightsaber keeping you frozen in place.

"You stay here until you decide to train, decide or starve" with a swoosh of his stupid black cape he was gone. 

Leaving you collapsed onto your knees. Tears of fear turned to those of frustration.

Your mind told you weeks had passed, but you stomach told you maybe only a day or two.

You had thought, long and hard.

You had been considering your options. 

"Train or starve" that is what he'd said to you when he chucked you into this hell hole. 

You spent most of your time staring into the abyss of space. 

The way you now saw it was that you could embrace your new lifestyle and become a badass Jedi.

And have a really cool lightsaber. 

The downside of that was that you had to put up with Kylo Ren on the day to day. 

But escape would be so much more likely if you complied for now, the sooner you trained and joined missions the sooner you could make a break for it on a planet, become a hermit and live out your days feeding thala-sirens on a remote island.

Because that was the life you wanted. 

Wasn't it?

This darn thinking thing. Deities it wasn't you style, introspective meditation was a trait belonging to the pretentious, to the people who had time to not work and actually be mentally healthy.

Not. Your. Style.

You had made your mind up, but for your dignity you would leave it another day.

Not more than a minute passed with your mind at peace, before the door slid open, it was the first noise you had heard in days, it jolted you to your very core, weekly you attempted to shuffle back wards from where you sat in the middle of the room, eyes blinking rapidly from being torn away from the window to the galaxy.

At the doorway stood none other than Supreme Doucheface, in all his black swathed glory, mask sat on his broad shoulders.

He stepped forward "I sensed you came to a decision" his voice made your ears hurt, the harshness of the booming decoder making goosebumps rise on your skin.

"Do you not have anything else to do other than harass me Supreme Leader?" Your dry throat made your words come out as a croak. 

"Tell me" He hissed, his lack of patience hardly surprising. 

"I will train under you" you looked away from him. 

He advanced, crouching down to you just like he had done the last day you had visited this room.

Again he gripped your chin, but unlike last time your face was clean of tears, your mind was clear.

He paused, you could sense him trying to read you.

Wordlessly slipped his hands under your knees and your back lifting you to his chest.

"What-"

"You can't walk, be quiet" His bluntness silencing you.

So you sat contented in the arms of the Supreme Leader as he carried you back to him chamber. 

"Kylo?" you said softly 

You felt him inhale "Hm" was all he said, clearly dying to hear what you had to say. 

Whatever.

"Can you keep the window there when we get back?" The question came as a half mumble, sleep threatening to capture your words.

"Yes, Little Rebel"

Sleep overcame you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gays we need to help our fave emo boy out by going and signing the change.org petition for Lucasfilm/Star wars to continue Ben Solo's story.
> 
> Ive done my research and there's so many ways he could be brought back and fully redeemed, I want to see more of the Ben Solo softie we deserve after we saw so much of our beloved bad boy Kylo, that 20 min of screen time didn't do him justice. 
> 
> Feel free to drop your opinion on the matter in a comment. xo


	9. Warning This Chapter Contains Exercise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ive never had a vegetable before" she spoke softly, the excitement lingering under the surface of her tone comparable to when she had viewed the galaxy, she lowered her eyes in embarrassment.
> 
> Kylo laughed.
> 
> He let out a full on laugh, not a chuckle or a giggle.
> 
> A laugh.

-Kylo Ren-

He was carrying the unconscious girl once again from that room to his chamber.

He hoped this wouldn't become a habit, he had more important things to be doing, he was a busy man.

But looking down to her soft face, pale from weakness and lips parched he couldn't quite think of anything else quite as urgent.

Most of all he hoped she would cooperate for her own sake, she was fading away in front of him, mentally and physically dwindling into herself. There was nothing he could do except be there when she came to him.

The physical he could help with, he would fatten her up and train her down, that was easy.

The mental aspect was a different story, he recognised the path she was treading as one he himself has treaded when he had first come under the tuition of spoke, before he even joined the Knights of Ren.

A path on the line between light and darkness, a hair-thin tightrope of volatile balance, one that was surely perfection, but unsustainable nevertheless. It was basic human need to pick sides.

Stifling a sigh as two troopers paused their patrol to salute to him, he made his way to his chambers, picking up his pace as he felt the girls presence beginning to fade in the force.

Placing her on his bed, ignoring the smaller one the droids had installed in his chambers for her by the window, he stood for a moment, noticing the droids had closed the shutters on his window, hesitating before stepping over to the control panel, watching as the shutters slowly unveiled the galaxy.

He remained for a moment, trying desperately to take in the galaxy as she had, wanting to feel the excitement and amazement she had displayed.

But he couldn't, he lacked her intense nativity. 

That nativity would soon be rippd from her too, Sith training wouldn't be kind to her.

Shaking his head he crossed the room again taking off his mask before gently waking her up. She groaned as she came too, mumbling obscenities about leaving her alone to die in peace.

"Your not dying, you will if you don't eat now" He grunted after releasing his helmet and placing it beside her.

She sat up and begrudgling took the plate, he'd ordered better quality food this time so she received the officers rations, which consists of a lump of meat (of unknown origin) and some limp green vegetables.

She looked upon this meal as though it was the holy grail, prodding at the meat in wonder, before hesitancy putting the soggy vegetable into her mouth. 

Her eyes widened further as she looked up to him chewing, she noticed him staring, swallowing before speaking.

"Ive never had a vegetable before" she spoke softly, the excitement lingering under the surface of her tone comparable to when she had viewed the galaxy, she lowered her eyes in embarrassment.

Kylo laughed.

He let out a full on laugh, not a chuckle or a giggle.

A laugh.

Her eyes snapped back up to him, at first in shock at his show of humour, before narrowing in annoyance.

Kylo took deep breathes in through his nose to quell his outburst.

"Ive never food that wasn't from a dehydro packet" she said defensively, her little nose scrunching as her eyebrows furrowed further.

She finished her meal as he watched, Kylo went to turn the lights off on the control panel as she halted him, both hands splayed in front of her.

"Wait, I want to sleep in that bed now" She crossed her arms, hair sticking up in strange directions as he took her in.

He nodded, it would be nice to get a bit of sleep himself.

He went back to her and supported her on her journey to her smaller bed a hand gripped around her small waist and the other holding her opposing arm, a gesture which she begrudgingly allowed, before watching her settle as she sighed into her pillow

He stood transfixed unable to take his eyes off the wriggling form of his Little Rebel, it wasn't until she stopped shuffling and looked up to him frowning

"What are you looking at" She asked hesitantly, an adorable crease forming between her brows. 

"Nothing..." He said, he wanted to say more, wanted to... Make things right between them. 

But instead he turned away, muttering a quick "Go to sleep Little Rebel" 

He walked over to the control panel to turn the lights of, looking back to her as the room dimmed, she was lying with her back to him and as he felt her presence in the force fade he watched as she fell asleep looking out to the galaxy.

Climbing into bed he was content, he shoved the discomfort at the feelings she brought to the surface, he missed her presence in his bed. 

He had succeeded in bringing her to heel, tomorrow they would begin training.

-Little Rebel-

After a breakfast of bread and dried fruit you were dressed and ready to begin your life on the Finaliser.

Begrudgingly joining the Supreme Leader's side you stepped out the door, there was no spring in your step, and you certainly weren't ecstatic with your arrangement.

A longer leash is still a leash.

Despite this you had to admit that walking alongside Kylo Ren through the black walled corridors cuff-less had a certain exhilarating quality, troopers and officers alike were obliged to pay their respects to him, and in some way you felt included in the fear they carried for Kylo Ren, you too where a unknown, without a mask but still a mystery. 

Ariving at a room similar to the one the knights where training in, only smaller and more technologically advanced. 

He informed you this was his private training room.

You told him you were honoured, sarcasm only lightly tinting your words.

Truly you were in awe of the quiet extravagance of the room, high walls met a ceiling full of bright lights, 

He walked away without replying, returning with a staff, tossing it to you he lead you to the ring.

"We will begin with sparring" he noted, his tone was very teacher-like and you were surprised at his ability to sound professional, he took up a position which you attempted to mirror, spreading your feet and turning your staff over in your hands, weighing it as you raised an eyebrow to Kylo.

A stark contrast to the temper tantrum he threw days ago.

Over the next hour or so he instructed you on the basics of sparring, you found that you were a quick learner, but whilst that cushioned your ego, it certainly didn't cushion your many tumbles, trips and knocks from Ren's spar.

Kylo whipped out his staff to your knee, knocking it out from under you and you dropped, pointing his staff to your neck he moved around you before placing a muscular forearm around you neck. 

"What I am about to apply is a blood choke, it will place the opponent unconscious"

your hands flew to his arm as he began applying pressure to the sides of you neck, you windpipe was more or less free but already you could feel yourself becoming light headed.

And in a small part of your brain, you recognised the feeling as... Euphoric?

Loosing strength from your arms they dropped to your sides as you fell back into Ren hoping to loosen his grip when a whisper in your ear had you freeze.

"This grip can also be used for other purposes" his breath tickled you ear and his hair entered your periphery.

"For pleasure" He whispered, pressing you to his chest.

Gasping slightly you pulled one final time at his arm and he released you.

Rubbing a slender hand to the tenderness on your neck you whirled around, moving away from him, picking up your staff as you went.

You cursed the slight moisture between your legs.

You had never given into those urges and you weren't about to now.

"We are here to train" You said, moving you eyes away from his smirk as he straightened and resumed a offensive stance.

He nodded his head to conceal a smirk, watching his biceps ripple under his shirt put a fire in your chest.

He moved like nothing you had ever seen before, a whirlwind of darkness, spinning and twisting from your every blow. He would strike with an acute spontaneity that rendered your defences useless, every knock from his spar sent shooting pains through your limbs. You were grateful however he wasn't using his full strength or else you were sure he would have detached said limbs from your body.

You sat on the floor after falling again, forlorn at your failed swipe to his knee. 

Refusing to give up you clambered to your feet again, parting your feet and griping the staff in the centre, angling it towards his offensive stance.

Deities damn his offensive stance.

You chose to strike first, attempting to knock his staff before swing the other end at his feet, you were semi successful, but his staff blocked the full extent of your blow, he retreated.

You looked up confused, you realised he must be feigning as you also retreated. You watched him like a hawk, so much so your vision became blurry, you blinked furiously, trying to clear your head to no avail. Your mind became crowded, filled with images of your life here on the finaliser, the torment Kylo had put you through, as well as things from your past, knowledge only you had access too.

"Get out of my head' You gasped, swinging wildly with your staff, achingly trying to free your vision from his grip.

"Fight me. Push me out!" Kylo urged from across the ring. His deep voice only crowding your senses further.

You tried, you really did, clamping your teeth together as your face contorted with effort and pain. You pushed so hard you felt blood fall from your nose, droplets ricocheting off the scratched floor they collided with.

Your vision began to clear slightly and you lunged towards him, knocking your staff against his whilst maintaining the push against his presence in your mind, you still couldn't see fully, but the fog had receded to your peripheral. 

You managed a kick to his arm, your leg swinging high as he failed to move out of shock.

"Good" he said, attempting a soft blow to your neck which you blocked with ease, before he knocked your legs out from you in a twirling manuvour that had you on your butt in two seconds.

As he receded from your crowded mind you stayed sat firmly on the floor, dizzy from relief as the images of your past stopped playing on loop.

To your surprise a thud alerted you to The Supreme Leader sitting down opposite you. 

Silence cradled you in its embrace before Kylo spoke, "You did well" 

You nodded slightly, causing a slice of pain to cut through your head. Looking to him he was sat crossed legged, you moved to take your legs in and mimicked him, you hoped now you could begin to learn about the force.

"I sense your eagerness to learn the force" He said wearily, pushing his hair out of his face with a ridiculously large hand, like seriously it was larger than your head.

"And apparently about my hands" He added, smirking.

You jolted back a little, embarrassment churning your stomach "I thought you couldn't read my thoughts?" You questioned, deflecting his statement entirely. 

"I've become familiar with the cracks in your walls Little Rebel" he chuckled, eliciting another glare from you.

"Your right, I want to learn about the force, I want to control it" You said, mustering confidence seemly from thin air.

"Close your eyes" He instructed, his voice void of humour once more, commanding and cold as you hesitated, lashes fluttering against your cheeks as you tried to calm the bubbling nerves in your stomach.

You jolted back as you felt his large hands clasp the sides of your head, large thumbs pressing against you temple, as your eyes snapped fully open to meet his dark one.

"I said close your eyes Little Rebel" He ordered, and not wanting to incur his wrath you did as he commanded, squeezing your eyes shut.

"Feel the air around you, feel as it shifts and turns around us" He said, you scrunched your eyes, trying to do as he said. 

In your concentration you failed to notice him moving to wards you, you gasped as you felt him clasp you hands in his own, your your eyes flew open and found his intently looking into yours, the golden flecks in his dark eyes moved quickly in the glaring overhead light.

Fe separated your hands from where they lay on your laps, his large fingers manipulating your palms to lie flat on the floor. 

"Feel the ground beneath you" He ordered, he palms staying on your's as you closed your eyes once more, attempting connect to the solid structure of the Finaliser. 

"I can't feel anything" You sighed after only a moment of trying, it was safe to say that you were disconcerted by the difficulty you were experiencing, it was the first time something had not come naturally.

"That is because you are trying too hard" He spoke, you had to fight the urge to open your eyes, confused as to how you could be overexerting yourself.

Kylo Ren continued "You want to much control over the force, in other words you are trying to force the force. Relax into it Little Rebel, allow it to show you what it wished" 

"But I thought the Sith were all about being in control, manipulating the force for bad" You asked.

"I am not training you to be a Sith, Little Rebel" His statement put a frown upon your face, you chose to ignore it addressing something far more important.

"Stop calling me-" 

He interrupted, that damn baritone voice instantly overpowering your own "The Sith failed, and since I killed all the Jedi, there is no need for the Sith"

"So what are we?" You asked

"I and the knights are a new breed of warriors, we will embrace the shortcomings of each of our predecessors, Sith thrived of chaos, but we will bring peace, the Jedi stopped short of what was necessary to accomplish their goals, we will do whatever it takes" 

"That is what you will be, but lesson one; do not attempt to exert control over the force, it is bigger than both you and I"

You were taken back by his wisdom, his eloquence in explaining the force to you, the way he spoke exuded dominance, you could see why the Knights chose to follow him.

That doesn't mean you would do the same. 

So you heeded his advice, relaxing and leaning into the part of yourself that had used the force before, you pressed you hands into the ground, feeling the sandy particles of dust roll under your palms, the cool hard surface of the floor beneath it. 

You willed the force to show you the Supremacy, you asked it, and the force did just that.

Pulled from you body you saw everything, every room and infrastructure was available as you drifted through the ship, you sped through walls and halls alike, until a particularly orange head piqued your interest.

"Little Rebel" A faint voice came, you knew it to be Kylo's. You just weren't interested. Not when General Ginger was such an easy target. 

Halting your drifting form you followed behind him, a grin creeping over your physical form, he was unaware of your presence which please you immensely, you closed in on him, reaching out with to try and push him only to find you didn't have an arm to reach.

You withdrew, a panic clutching at your heart as you realised Kylo had never taught you how to get out of this... you didn't even know what this was. 

Hux turns around as though he had felt something, which only magnified your anxiety, you flew backwards, lost in the thousands of halls and passages of the Supremacy, helpless and alone.

"Little Rebel" A booming voice cut through your hysteria, you tried to listen, to calm yourself.

"Come back to me" 

"I don't know how!" Your view of the now empty hall was rapidly decreasing, somewhere in the back of you mind you were cursing the fact you had missed such an epic pranking opportunity on the stupid smirk face.

"Follow my voice Little Rebel" He spoke again.

You looked into yourself, finding the connection between you and Ren, you traced it back to him, back to where you sat in front of him he was still clutching your hands to the floor as your body writhed where it sat.

"I'm here what do I do now?" You asked, attempting to quell the pounding of you mind as your consciousness hovered behind you body. 

"Reach out to you body, I will do the rest" 

You surged towards you body, just as Ren ripped your hands from where they were connected to the floor, in an instant you felt the heaviness of your body, the rushing of the blood as it circulated your body, and more than any of that-

The warmth of Kylo's hands on yours.

You fell into his chest, blood falling from your nose onto the floor between his legs, his hand rose to the back of your head as your eyes whipped back and forth, trying to regain your balance in your own body.

As soon as you could move each of your fingers individually again you pulled away from him.

"Don't touch me" You seethed, still slightly breathless but ready to pick a fight with this kriffer.

You clumsy batted his hands away and wiped at your nose, smearing the blood that was seeping into your mouth. 

"Do not speak to me that way" He commanded, his tone domineering and cold once more, the concern that once tainted his words had long gone, his lips down turned and grave.

"Why would you let me do that, I could have got stuck- I could of-" You put a hand to your chest, mind spinning out of control at the though of being lost from your body, a Meer ghost with nothing to do but stalk Hux.

He turned away from you, picking up his spar and your's as he walked to the back wall "You were safe" he said nonchalantly, even going as far to move his shoulders in a confident shrug.

"You're unbelievable" You huffed, continuing to mutter as you heaved you self off the ground, You stood, arms folded over chest staring with hatred over to the black cloth on his back.

"Come" The baritone voice ordered, his voice sent shivers down your spine, even from across the room it managed to sound as present as if it was in your ear.

"Where?" You asked softly, the back of your mind buzzing with distrust.

Were your skills in the force so weak that he was reconsidering putting you into space.

You shook the thoughts from your hyperactive brain, walking towards his hulking from with confidence.

That was a lie, but you weren't cowering either. 

Maybe it was your new attire, you felt like a badass, and no amount of bluntness from Space Emo could change that.

"I have business to attend to, the Knights will be looking after you until I'm back" 

That could change that, Badass or not you were no match for the intimidation factor of the Space Emo's henchmen.

"The Knights! They'll eat me alive" You said dramatically, fearing for your life in its entirety.

"Maybe, use your sparring skills if they do" He chuckled, your mouth hung open, shocked by his mocking demeanour when it came to your peril.

"I don't need to be babysat, just take me to a cell" You whined.

"You need to train" He persisted finally turning to look at you in all your pouty face bratty glory.

Taking a step backwards and looking up to him through your lashes "Not with them" You were borderline pleading now, the last and first time you had met the Knights you 

The leather on his hands creased as he clenched his fists at you disobedience, he stepped towards you, bringing your chest to face because of the ridiculous height difference.

Taking a hand and hooking in underneath you face he brought your eyes to his, "Yes with them, because when I get back"

You reached to his hand at your chin and attempted to move it from its steadfast grip, failing to do so epically as he finished his sentence, 

"We will be going on our first mission"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hot sec since I updated, but I'm back with a exciting couple chapters... What do we think is going down on this mission?


	10. Meet The Knights Pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaving her with the Knights was a test, to see whether she would obey him and respect them, of course he had forbade them to harm her in anyway, and they wouldn't dare disrespect their master.
> 
> This girl had a grip on him...
> 
> And try as he might he couldn't shake her off.

You spent the entirety of you walk towards the Knight's training centre vomiting words at Kylo about why he could not under no circumstances leave you with the Knights, and furthermore, how you were in no way ready to join them on their little quests.

"Kylo!" You shouted exasperatedly and to your surprise he turned around, you looked behind him and recognised the doors Training room. His mask caught you of guard as you found yourself missing his intoxicating brown eyes. 

Mentally shaking yourself from thoughts you were paranoid he could be listening too you continued,

"Kylo I- I can't kill people" You muttered, looking down. 

He stepped towards you and you blinked away tears that were attempting to escape you eyes .

You sensed hesitation in him, but you couldn't place why. 

But as you looked to him you saw nothing but the monster that had no issue with killing, no qualm with cold blooded murder, perhaps a different truth lay under his mask, but in his choice to wear that mask he was complicit in his actions.

Almost as though he read your mind (which was become more and more probable as you acme more comfortable around him) he replied quickly and coldly. 

"Its Supreme Leader to you, Apprentice and you will do what is required of you." 

You furiously blinked the tears out of your eyes, putting a steely face on as he raised his hand.

Opening the door and using the force to push you through them he didn't even look back to you as he walked away from the closing door.

"Behave" 

Bastard.

-Kylo Ren-

She had exceeded his expectations at training today, he knew she would.

But he whole time he found himself holding back, keeping himself from hurting her.

And how he struggled to keep his voice even when she fell and let out a pretty groan of frustration, everything about her was simultaneously delicate and deadly, he knew her slim body would be covered with bruises from him by the end of their session. The thought gave him some wicked satisfaction.

Stars the places he wanted bruises her.

Leaving her with the Knights was a test, to see whether she would obey him and respect them, of course he had forbade them to harm her in anyway, and they wouldn't dare disrespect their master.

This girl had a grip on him...

And try as he might he couldn't shake her off.

There were still things locked away in her mind he couldn't access, like her name for example, though he knew that the people in the village called her various nicknames, the girl she saved called her "Sana" Which meant "Saviour" in Twi'lek, he knew that from his exploration of her mind. 

But he knew that wasn't her true name, and since even he wasn't willing to put her through the pain of breaking down those walls by force, he would have to wait until she revealed it herself.

There was also the matter of the scars on her back, he had of course noticed how much pain it brought to her to even think about it from when he brought it up during the interrogation. 

He suspected they came from the scummy landlord of that Village.

And suspicion was all he required.

Whilst she was sleeping in that interrogation chamber he had taken Vicrul and returned to that hellhole she had called home. 

Vicrul had asked no questions when Kylo had pulled him from his quarters and onto the command shuttle, as Kylo piloted in a quiet fury, ready to exact revenge for his Little Rebel.

Vicrul had merely stood outside the door as Kylo had went into the inn, stooping at the decrepit entrance to accommodate his height. 

He eased up the stairs, his height and weight making this difficult, he could barely fit through the halls. He was careful not to awake his prey, as he reached out with the force to find the slimy Quarren's life signature.

How he could not wait to feel that signature fade and disappear forever.

Opening the door to Morg's room Kylo wasn't worried about the noise he caused now, the Quarren sloppily sat up in bed and with a voice deep with grissle and annoyance demanded what he was being awoke for. 

He fell silent when his eyes landed on a masked Kylo 

Underneath the mask Kylo grinned, this was going to be fun.

So Kylo silently approached, he had never seen the point of monologging before a kill, it was pointless he thought, to waste breath on a dead person.

So Kylo proceeded to cut Morg's limbs off one by one, it was of course, well below his skillset as the bloated creature attempted to run past him he simple ignited his lightsaber and it slice cleanly though the filthy leg of the now screaming Quarren.

Kylo then proceeded to drag his lightsaber in a circle around Morg's flailing body allowing it to fall through to the first floor.

Now the pathetic creature was howling as Kylo followed him through the hole in the floor and using the force to give him a soft landing. 

Then Kylo slowly sliced though each of Morg's remaining limbs, each wound cauterising instantly keeping him alive throughout the process.

Once Morg was simply a ball of squirming flesh Kylo deactivated his lightsaber, squatting next to Morg's face, he leaned over the sobbing, ugly face the ball of flesh unfortunately still possessed. 

Kylo would rectify that.

Raising his lightsaber vertically above that disgusting mess of a face Kylo looked into the eyes of the creature who had marked his Little Rebel.

And he ignited the blade. 

Putting a hole straight though Morg's pea sized brain.

On his way back to the Supremacy Kylo's mind was rife with conflict, he hadn't felt this way since his early days under Snoke.

The Little Rebel was bringing a side of himself he never wanted to see again.

But time had passed since then, and her strength in the force had only grown, however the question remained- was she ready for a mission? 

The answer would be revealed soon enough, and although he disagreed with many of his masters teachings, he knew there was only one was he could go about this.

Plunging her into battle was a necessary evil.

She wasn't physically ready battle nor was she mentally prepared for what came after.

But she would get through it, he would be there to help her before during and after. Some selfish part of him was glad that he would be the one to comfort her in the aftermath.

For now he had to travel to the Finaliser for a meeting with Phasma and the other high ranking stormtroopers to prepare for their mission. 

As he marched though the Supremacy towards his Upsilion shuttle his mind drifted to her.

"Kylo I- I can't kill people" she had whispered so softly, her anxiety flooding his senses. 

And it shook him, her innocence washed over even his highly built walls, liberating up memories of his first kill. 

It took all his strength not to envelop her shaking body in his arms.

-Little Rebel-

Turning from where Kylo had just abandoned you were greeted by a room of masked men.

The had yet again all stopped their activities to turn to you and stare. 

Charming. 

"It rude to stare boys" You mustered confidence and spat out the sentence in distaste.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Another second before the one with a mask that mimicked a humanoid skull laughed.

Laughed.

Humour filled his voice as he tugged his mask off "She's got guts" He said to the other men, you remembered him to be Ap'lek, you were unsurpassed at his warm tone since he had been the only one you had sensed warmth from when you had first met.

Under the mask he sported long dreads and kind dark eyes, his faced looked young yet his dreads where completely white, a goofy grin graced his teeth, alas a few were metal.

He threw his hands up in a shrug towards his comrades, "she's scared enough you can all stop now" 

Walking up towards you he clapped a hand around you shoulder, "you can relax your one of us, they just want to assert dominance" 

"Dominance? " another pulled of the mask, the one you knew to be Cardo, He swung his canon arm over his shoulder behind his neck, "There's no need"

That earned a scowl from you.

Cardo was paler than Ap'lek, with two long scars carving down his temples, and a scruff of a beard coating his strong jaw. 

You let Ap'lek guid you into the room, your muscles still complaining rom training with Kylo. 

Sensing your discomfort, Ap' lek chuckled, "Don't worry, I have no doubt Master Ren has exhausted you enough"

He left your side and went to a rack full of blasters. 

"And since you don't yet have your saber, for this mission you will require a blaster"

"Im going to get a light sword like Kylo's?" Your mouth hung agape, excitement seeping into your chest at the thought of having your own glowing death stick. 

After hours of shooting at the range with Ap'lek and Cardo, you were able to use a Vibrorifle and a standard trooper blaster with some proficiency.

"You can definitely shoot better than any trooper I've seen" 

You laughed "I doubt it"

"No I'm deadly seriously I've never seen one of Hux's Stormtroopers make a single shot" 

Ap'lek made you comfortable, he was warm and humorous, even Cardo was immune to his charms and occasionally was drawn into the jokes.

After training the Knights pushed their masks onto their sweaty heads and fell into silence as they accompanied you out the room.

You nudged Ap'lek in his black clothed side, looking up to him "where are we going"

"Food hall" He replied shortly, you didn't take offence, you knew they all had facades to keep up. 

However you were slightly taken aback that they ate, you just assumed they trained and murdered. And to eat with the common officers and even stormtrooper as well. Normal. 

You were also excited to see more of the ship. Since you had been taken all you had seen was Ren's chambers, his training room and your previous cells. 

Walking with the Knights was almost exhilarating as walking with Kylo, Officers payed no respects instead choosing to press themselves flat against the wall to avoid blocking their path, formed a rectangle around you with you in the middle, Vicrul, Cardo and at the front, Ap'lek, Ushar bringing up the rear behind you with Trudgen and Kuruk on either side of you.

The food hall was no different from what you had seen of the ship, the Knights marched to the front of the queue to grab prepared plates, you trailed behind them to find a plate left out for you too.

Thats right bad bitches don't queue.

Breezing past the line of troopers who tilted their bucket heads down as you headed to the back of the room.

Looking up from the plate of the ill-nutritious looking mush you were carrying you found hundred of unmasked troopers eyeing you. 

The room had hushed when you entered but slowly whispers were beginning to rise in volume, and since the eyes never left you, you could safety assume they were talking about you.

Understandably you were quite the spectacle, a mysterious girl walking with the six deadliest warriors certainly in the first order if not in the whole galaxy.

Taking a seat at the table out of the way of even the strangling troops the men took their masks of with ease, the faces you had not seen before you were now able to analyse, you found Kuruk to be a Twi'lek, Vicrul, who still hadn't deigned to meet your eye had long brown hair with pricing blue eyes, Trugen had mottled dark skin with a shaved head and Ushar...

Well Ushar was a species you had never seen before, perhaps as mix?

Either way the only noise that came from the table other than the clattering of cutlery was the sound of his rattling breaths, this conformed your suspicion of his mask having antiox filtration hoses on the sides.

Interesting.

You were bored of the silence that the men seemed to bathe in.

"So...Are you all force users?" You asked.

Trudgen replied, you hadn't heard him speak thus far "We are all force sensitive, just not as strong as you or Master Ren"

You nodded, looking back to you food when Ushar struggled out a sentence "Vicrul is the strongest in the force, that's why he's Master Ren's second hand"

You looked to Vicrul who remained fixated on his food, his broad shoulders hunched over the table.

So you avoided "Do you always call him 'Master'? " You asked them. 

A scoff from Cardo "We address him as what he is"

"Right" That was that conversation over. 

The meal ( if you could call it that) ended in silence, the masked men flanked you once again to leave the room.

You walked towards the exit, passing the officers tables on the way. 

The officers gazes were on you too, they looked down their noses to you, a sneer plastered over a fearful face. 

The countless eyes burned through your clothes, scorching your body. 

The muffled whispers spoken loudly behind cuffed sleeves made your blood boil, what right did they have to your business? 

Anxiety began itching at your nape, crawling ups your spine with sharp talons.

You just had to make it out of the hall, you were loosing control. Fast. The Knights could sense it too, a masked Ap'lek broke formation to look back to you, but you couldn't process his support.

The officers. They doubt you. They Scorn you.

You'd show them. 

Turning as you neared the exit you whipped you hands out in front of you, this of course was just for dramatic effect, but as a cruel grin broke over you face, the officers were thrown from their tables as each on overturned like dominos.

Yells of pain and panic broke the tension of the whispers, allowing you to realise what you had done. 

Kylo was going to kill you.

Wordlessly you marched out the doors, waiting in the corridor for the Knights to lead you to whatever doom awaited you.

-Kylo Ren-

Kylo Ren stormed towards his chambers , tuning into the force to find what he recognised to be his little rebel sleeping. 

Deities she had made him proud during training, and when he heard about the stunt she pulled with the Officers...

It made a warmth bloom in his chest and a smile spread to his lips.

And that warmth only grew when he opened the doors to his chamber only to reveal a the girl sleeping soundly on his bed, wrapped so perfectly in his sheets. 

Her soft curves were lost in his shirt but her strong legs were exposed to the chill of the air conditioned room, and as he neared he could see the gooseflesh speckling her skin.

She sighed softly as he went to his desk and placed his helmet down.

Running a hand through this tangled hair he walked over to the sleeping girl. 

His Little Rebel.

Gently pulling the sheets over her legs he sat at the foot of the bed and tugged of his tunic and boots.

A soft voice came from next to him "Kylo? I- mean Supreme Leader" Her voice was cracking with sleep and muffled from a hand she was dragging across her face. 

"I'm here" 

She sat up slightly, eyes still half closed "Did you finish your business?"

"I did" 

She fell into silence, but he could sense she was not asleep.

"Supreme Leader?" She whispered.

"Whats wrong?" He asked.

"Are you angry with me?" apprehension crept in to her quiet voice.

"I head about the incident in the canteen- The officers are scared of you Little Rebel"

"They got what's coming to them" Her voice grew stronger now, more connected to her fiery spirit.

"I'm sure they did but it won't happen again, understood?" He forced severity into his baritone voice.

She flipped over in his bed, stuffing her head into the pillow.

Oh deities how he wished she was putting her supple ass up for a different reason, so that he could paw at it and leave bruises all-

"Go away"

A muffled call broke his trance.

"But sweet thing... you're in my bed" 

She slowly turned over, hair sticking out in every direction and her eyes widening as she truly took his her surroundings for the first time. "I couldn't sleep- I was waiting for you"

"You were waiting for me... my bed?" Kylo said slowly.

"Don't say it like that" She grumbled and huffed, pulling the sheets over herself to get out of the bed.

"No stay, you need to get your sleep for tomorrow" Heat was spreading in his chest rapidly and he needed to subdue it.

Patience.

When she went to move again after a moment of confused eyes looking into his he grabbed her arm and pulled her across the bed, setting her next to the wall so that he could slide in next to her, blocking her from escape.

"Go to sleep Little Rebel"

Another huff and she turned her back to him.

He waited for her breathing to become deep and even before reaching a large hand out to stroke her soft icy hair. 

And for the first time in years he fell asleep without his demons tucking him in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was my birthday three days ago :) Next chapter is the mission I promise xox


	11. 11. Vicrul Has Abandonment Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why should it be my life over theirs?" 
> 
> "Because they aren't you" He sighed.
> 
> "And that gives me the right to kill them?" You felt panic set into your bones.
> 
> "Yes" He said immediately 
> 
> You looked down, shaking your head, "You are so incredibly apathetic"
> 
> "And you too are complacent with your life"

You slept next to Kylo Ren last night, and despite being intensely uncomfortable at first, you could help but feel inducted into that domineering aura the man held.

You slept soundly, only inches away from the deadliest man in the galaxy.

And you woke with his arm clutched around you, you were facing him with one hand pressed to his chest and the other under you head, his hand lay on you waist, gripping you gently.

You slowly tried to roll away from him but his grip only tighten, pulling you closer. 

"Sleep well Little Rebel?" a crooked grin appeared on his half asleep face. 

"No- get off!" you hissed, and he did,

Eventually.

You sat up and faced him, your legs crossed.

"When are we leaving?" You asked, an excited child on their first day at class.

"Soon- just go and get dressed" He huffed, putting a large bicep over his eyes. 

You hopped of the bed and rushed to the control panel on the wall to turn the lights on, sighing out a quiet laugh at the irritable groan from the man on the bed. 

Serves the sucker right.

As you slipped into the refresher with your clothes you could hardly contain your excitement, you couldn't wait to have your feet on solid ground, soil, bog, sand or otherwise.

Preferably not sand though.

the clothes left out for you were different from you day to day outfit, you pulled on a dress with a high neckline that fell down to your mid thigh, the skirt section had built in shorts for which you were grateful, it was sleeveless and light which eluded to a hot climate.

finally you tugged on plated knee high boots, the hard shell material protected your knees and shins, the strong material gleaming in the artificial light of the refresher. 

They had provided you with hair tied this time, thank the stars. You pulled half your hair into a wrap bun at the back of the top of your head and plaited the rest so it fell down one shoulder to your hip.

You walked out of the refresher after washing your face, brushing your teeth and doing your business.

You were met with the sight of a shirtless Kylo Ren standing at his dresser.

Son of a Hot chompa that man is built.

"Pick your jaw off the floor and come here" His voice was even gruffer in the morning.

You snapped your jaw closed so quickly your teeth stung, walking over as Kylo Ren examined your new outfit, lingering on where your curves were accentuated.

When you reached him you looked up with your hands clasped in front of you, his brow had fallen into a light humorous look at your now pretty constant nervous temper.

He turned back to the dresser to pull out some metal pieces, you narrowed your brow in confusion.

He held up the first piece, it was a thin, type of corset made out of what looked like ornately carved, silver vibrometal, it consisted of a waistband connected by thin chains to a longer band that would sit over your hips.

"Turn around" He said, you obeyed quickly, you felt one hand grip your waist to pull you closer and the other held the plates of metal at your belly-botton.

You shivered slightly.

You felt hot breath on your shoulder as he secured the armour to your back.

Turning back around he handed you wrist guards of the same material.

Finally Kylo approached you with something that resembled a harness, silver metal and looking uncomfortable.

"What is that?" you asked, taking a slight step back.

"Its armour" He said simply, a smirk growing every second.

"I can't see how that would protect me" You said dryly, looking at the thin metal that wouldn't even cover your spine.

"I'll show you"

You repeated the process and he slid the harness over you arms, clipping it around your neck and adjusting the hard metal.

When you turned around he pressed a button you hadnt noticed on the collar and it hummed to life, a slightly glowing type of force feild covered your breasts and upper ribcage.

"Oh" 

You gingerly put your arms down but it just felt like a cool metal surface when your bare skin touched it.

You arrived The Knights ship which was appropriately names 'The Night Buzzard', long and rectangular, a large, long cuboid. 

You walked in with Kylo ahead of the Knights, you were sent straight to an assigned room.

A room which you would be sharing with Kylo.

Of course. 

Stars what you would give for a metre squared of private space that wasn't a refresher.

Kylo followed you in carrying two bags, he dropped them at the door and turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" You asked quickly, he turned considering you, maskless since he had entered the ship.

"To talk with the Knights" He said plainly, his face stoic.

"Cant I come?" You asked, hands in front of you and eyelashes batting.

"No" He turned to leave again.

"But they love me" He raised an eyebrow to give you a sceptical look as you dragged out the word love.

"Really they do, I'm like the little sister knight they never had" You rushed towards the door.

"Why should I let the former prisoner run rampant on the ship" His words slowed as he approached the end of the sentence realising his mistake.

"Former?" You said with a smile on your face.

"Yes, apprentice. Former" He said gruffly, not making eye contact.

"Anyway there's six Knights and you to stop me from running amok" You quickly carried on.

He remained unconvinced, a huff coming from his chest.

"Ill do anything" You rushed out, moving towards him further, you couldn't stand the thought of being left along in this small room for hours.

It was not much unlike the room Kylo had put you in before.

He looked down at you, you were closer than you had meant to put yourself to him, and stars you didn't mean to promise anything to him.

"Anything, Little Rebel?" He smirked, you hesitated, unsure of how to proceed as he lowered his head to beside your ear, hot breathe tickling your neck making you shiver.

"Be careful what you promise little girl, you might not like what I have in mind" 

"Supreme Leader I just want to go outside the room" You said awkwardly, heat rising in you face.

You attempted to slide around the looming man but he caught you, grabbing your arm and pushing it to the wall adjacent to the door, he put one arm above your head and the over under your chin, slightly gripping your neck.

"Kylo!" You gasped, dropping formalities he clearly wasn't abiding by. 

"I can feel the attraction coming from you, Little Rebel" His deep voice resounded in your ears. 

"I-"

"Master Ren, the pilot needs coordinate confirmation" Another male voice came "Oh- Sorry to interrupt Master."

Above your head you heard the crease of leather as Kylo tensed and curled his hand into a fist.

"Very well, Vicrul escort my apprentice to the other Knights"

"Babysitting again Master?" An exasperated sigh came from slits of the rounded mask.

"If anything I'm the one babysitting you boys" You smirked, the heat from your encounter with Kylo receding from your cheeks.

"Don't mess with him to much" Kylo said to you, directing a humorous smirk to Vicrul.

Both men turned on their heel and you followed Vicrul.

"You and Master Ren seem to be close" He said, tension coating his tongue.

"No- no he's just... enthusiastic about my training" You said, but quickly realised how that sounded and began waffling.

"I mean- not like that" Vicrul halted suddenly and turned to you, "Quit babbling, you're sleeping with the Supreme Leader and expect us to accept you as one of us"

"What- Im not sleeping with him" 

Vicrul huffed a laugh, "Sure sweetie, I'm his right hand man, I can read Master Ren like a book"

"Right but I'm an individual, I'm not an accessory." You felt the anger clenching at your throat.

"Not anymore" He remarked dryly.

"What is your problem with me?" Exasperation took over your voice

"You'll never be as strong as us, you're just a piece of ass to him until he gets bored" He spat out.

"And when that day comes we can both sigh a sigh of relief, because I don't want me to be here either!" You returned his raised tone.

Carrying on before he could interrupt you "Stars how does he out up with you lot, you're acting like a jealous teenage girl" You scowled.

It happened in a second, Vicrul reached for the wickedly curved blade at his side and you responded in kind, throwing your hands out in front of you, one pushing and the over doing the come hither motion.

In an instant Vicruls weapon flew to you, smacking into your palm and Vicrul was pushed backwards. 

You brandished his weapon in your hand, smirking.

"Told you he's been enthusiastic about my training."

"You won't survive a single battle, you're a just parentless slave from a desert in the middle of no where"

"Shut -up" You spat, seeing red as he edged towards you.

"You'll die a dishonourable death of a coward the second you see the blood of the battlefield" He hissed, continuing.

"Because you are worthless to the Resistance, to The First Order and to the galaxy"

You lunged, vision blurred with anger. 

You would have torn him to pieces with his own weapon, you swore on the stars you would have.

If a pair of strong arms hadn't wrapped around you, immobilising you almost instantly.

"Let me go!" You yelled in no particular direction, in no state to ascertain who was detaining you.

"Calm down Little Rebel"

The nickname, despite it's annoying origin grounded you, its repeating nature reminding you of your situation.

"Kylo- He-" You panted, forcing back tears. 

"You need to keep your dog on a tighter leash" Vicrul hissed.

Kylo pried Vicrul's blade from your white-knuckled grip and tossed it the the masked man opposite you, from who you could feel a death stare radiating.

"Vicrul go to your chamber and stay there, we will talk later." He commanded, and despite not seeing his face, you could imagine the daggers he was staring at Vicrul. 

"Your sending me away? She is making you weak!" He yelled, you had never witnessed this amount of insubordination towards Kylo Ren from anyone other than yourself.

You stood to the side of Kylo, an arm still wrapped tightly around you keeping you out of Vicrul's path.

You were trying to take deep breaths, attempting the quell the burning in your chest.

Kylo kept ahold of you, waiting until Vicrul was out of sight to bring you in front of him. You devoted your eye contact solely to the floor, admiring a scuff shaped like an X-wing.

"He was trying to get a rise out of you, and you gave him just that" Kylo spoke quietly but firmly.

"But- Supreme Leader, the things he said- I couldn't just-"

"I heard it all, but part of being a warrior is choosing your battles."

"You heard it and didn't intervene?" You quirked a brow, trying again to shrug off his grip but finally meeting his gaze.

Within his gaze you found not the annoyance you had been expecting but a gentle, new emotion you couldn't place. You stood transfixed, his eyes had seemed to lighten without the shadow of his furrowed brow, now a swirling amber.

"You can come to the briefing" He said abruptly, letting go of your arm and turning to breeze down the hall.

That infernal cape following him.

You sat with the Knights durning the briefing, all five men were leisurely spread across a u-shape sofa they stayed stoic during the tactical speech and only began to bring out the teasing and wit towards the end where Kylo was talking them through their roles and the less important points of the mission.

To summarise the surprisingly long speech for a man of usually few words:

You would be disembarking at coordinates blah blah blah on Kashyyyk, the home of the Wookies (stars did you hope to meet some Wookies) It was a jungle climate which accounted for your slightly revealing outfit. 

The mission objective was to subdue the rebellious population of the new trading outpost at Awrathakka, a city recently beginning to industrialise and gaining a rather scummy population.

The new settlers were trying to force Wookie's out from their city, which you were vocal about how revolting you found.

The mission was you dig up any rebels and to maintain peace in the city which was providing valuable mining facilities for The Order.

So that was that.

Afterwards Kylo whispered something unintelligible into Ap'lek's ear and disappearing the way you entered.

"So Miss Rebel, we heard about the little 'tiff' you got yourself into with Vicrul" He said, you paused, unsure of how to reply and allowed him to continue.

"I personally want to congratulate you on putting that smug bastard in his place" He chucked along with Trudgen who was cleaning his virbocleaner.

"He started it" You sulked, eyes downcast.

"Im sure he did, he's just pissed of he's not the strongest anymore" 

You looked at him in confusion, surely he couldn't be implying "not the strongest?" You trailed off.

Another snigger but this time from Kuruk who carried on for Ap'lek giving you time to look around at all the unmasked men.

Except of course for Ushar.

"Not physically, but with the force, One day you could even compete with Master Ren"

"Vicrul's like brother to Master Ren, but you're something else" 

Silence fell upon the men. The meaning of their words settling into your skull in reverberating waves.

Kylo came for you within minutes of that comment and you returned to your chambers, and stars behold you were blessed with your own bed. 

Settling into the coarse covers in the dark room you heard nothing but the bustling of the ship, the engines and Kylo's deep breathing.

You fell asleep to the lull of said breathing. 

You awoke to Kylo leant over you, gigantic hands shaking your shoulders, you jolted up, shocked by the intrusion in your personal space.

He smirked, an already gloved hand ticking your chin before you pulled away, your customary scowl already plastered over your brow.

"We're landing"

You practically sprinted to the refresher to shower, brush your teeth and change, braiding your hear down you back and tugging on the same outfit from yesterday.

Bounding the refresher you were met with a seated Kylo Ren in front of you, his long legs spread with one bent at the knee and the other taking up most of the walk way.

You stopped in the door way and beheld him.

"Give me a spin" His hoarse voice came unrestrained by the mask, you stood there dumbfounded, did the creep just ask you to... spin?

"What do you mean?" You froze, words tumbling out a stuttering mess.

He stood and you went to move towards the exit to the chambers but he caught you arm, sliding his hand towards yours and gesturing a loop with the other hand.

Slowly you turned, his hand pulling yours above you head as he coaxed you round once more.

As you finished your second turn, brow lowered and back stiff he let you go only to grasp your upper arms, your eyes could not be torn from his face if the ship had crashed just then.

"You will stay by my side unless I say otherwise, remember your training but don't over exhaust yourself with the force, I've heard you're a sharp shot, so rely on that" He listed of, deep brown eyes boring into yours with such intensity you thought you might explode.

"It's one thing on a target, another completely on a person" internally you shuddered at the prospect of even drawing blood.

He didn't correct you for using his name, instead gripping you harder "You will do what it takes to survive, I know that"

"Why should it be my life over theirs?" 

"Because they aren't you" He sighed.

"And that gives me the right to kill them?" You felt panic set into your bones.

"Yes" He said immediately 

You looked down, shaking your head, "You are so incredibly apathetic"

"And you too are complacent with your life" 

This made you look up, confusion creasing your brow but he continued before you could reply, "Someone will always be willing to get rid of you to further themselves, it your job to-"

"Theres always a bigger fish" You muttered, not being unfamiliar with the Machiavellian attitude.

He smirked "Indeed"

He stepped closer to where you stood silently, taking your chin in his forefinger and thumb, he was so close you could feel his hot breathe crash against your lips, his eyes flickered down them momentarily whilst you worked desperately to stop yours from doing the same.

He smirked at you obviously stubborness, "We're landing, collect your weapon from Ap'lek and meet me at the encampment" He said plainly, his bluntness a smack to the face after the strangely intimate moment you too had shared.

Keep it together lazerbrain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was sat on the toilet at around 2am and I realised I had never read a Kylo fic where the OC/Y/N brushed their teeth. 
> 
> So there you go, our teeth are sparking, ready to pucker up to Kylo.
> 
> This was a fat ass chapter sorry for the wait.
> 
> Smut next chapter i'm sosososo sorry it's taken this long xoxoxo


	12. 12. Battle and a Half

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were silent, there was nothing left, no clever remarks to bombard him with.
> 
> Nothing to cover up what had been growing between you.
> 
> And when the bearskin of his hand brushed your face it became fixed, undeniable.

Clutching your blaster to your chest you took up the usual formation with the Knights, the troopers now wore camouflage armour and blended almost seamlessly with the undergrowth of the forest.

Speaking of the forest it was but a mass of green to your unaccustomed eyes, the colour blinding after spending a month in the monochromatic First Order ship, jests off colourful birds erupted from the canopy, shoots of red, green, blue.

The base was a different story, militant and highly weaponised, squadrons of troopers jogged back and forth and tall watch towns cast long shadows on even the giant trees.

You learned from Kuruk that you would be moving out on a specialised diplomatic mission immediately, stopping only to listen to hux's speech.

Just what you wanted to do.

"If the inhabitants of this third class planet fail to follow in the footsteps of their neighbours and submit to The First Order, they will be annahaliated"

This earned cheers for the Troopers.

Why? You did not know, his sickly place face looked smug.

His words worried you, though you were not here by choice you were still complicate in their plans, even training to murder.

Looking up from the side platform your eyes immediately found the Supreme Leader, for once standing slightly behind Hux, which your were sure was only bolstering the ginger mans ego further.

"Your doubts are tangible little rebel"

"They aren't doubts just because they don't align with you"

"Hm"

Insufferable man.

Moving out from the base you were the only one carrying nothing but the blaster on your back, the men had packs on their back and although you ranted about your capability to carry your load for a good thirty minutes Ap'lek dropping is pack into your arms and folding you horizontal to the ground in a nanosecond quick shut you up.

One day you would be strong enough.

Trekking though the forest you were on edge in the back of your mind an attack felt imminent.

And imminent it was.

emerging into a medium clearing humans flooded from the surrounding undergrowth, armed with blasters and vibe-tecnology you knew them to be the resistance situated here, Kylo reached behind him and grabbed you, tugging you behind his broad form.

A perfectly adequate shield if you did saw so.

"Keep back and for stars sake throw you morals out the window for your own sake, I might not be able to always protect you"

He closed the connection before you could reply.

So you hardened yourself for battle.

pulling your blaster into your hands and stepping back from where kylo lead the knights, they swarmed in front of you, creating a barrier between you and the advancing enemy.

The resistance soldiers stopped and their leader stepped out to match Kylo "The wookie beasts have had their time in Awrathakka, the city is ours now"

They were brutes, with eyes promising violence and the weapons to back it up.

Nothing of the valiant resistance the whispering hopefuls of her town spoke about.

You were Interrupted from the train of thoughts as Kylo Ren spoke up.

"The First Order protects this province and its inhabitants, vacate and you will be met with mercy"

Fear glistened in the faces of many of the soldiers, including the leader. But Kylo's distorted baritone rung out again as he prowled closer to the enemy.

...Enemy?

"I hope you choose not to however, because ridding the galaxy of scum like you is always an act of charity" You could have sworn you saw the sweat bead on the now cowering mans forehead.

The soldiers trembles turned to snarls as without another word the enemy charged into action, the one hundred men meeting your party of six knights four troopers with you and the Supreme Leader.

Battle erupted around you, red blaster shots flying towards you, and through some of the stormtroopers beside you, within seconds you saw one of your troopers hit the floor, plasma burnt through his armour, a hole straight through his abdomen.

Running over to him you put your knees beneath the armour of his shoulders, propping his head onto your chest, pulling his helmet of revealing his pained gasps.

And also revealing he was a she.

She grabbed for your hand, clutching it as her breathes became more and more shallow.

You wanted to make conversation, to ease her as she went.

But it happened so fast, there was no time for sappy conversation between two strangers.

The trooper died in your arms, you didn't mourn but as you slid your legs from under her limp body you finally managed to throw away those morals.

Just like Kylo said.

And when you sensed a soldier approaching behind whirled to meet the assault, not before a shot form his blaster grazed your upper arm.

You didn't hesitate to shoot him.

Exhaling a sigh of relief as he dropped, you had only shot his leg.

Then you were of running towards where Kylo and the knights fought, shooting for the legs of enemy charging for you.

But your skills were still underdeveloped, before you reached the Knights of Ren you were overwhelmed with soldiers, they had set their eyes of the weakest link and would take you out no matter what.

Whilst shooting at close range in front of you a muscly forearm put you in a head lock.

You grasped at the arm around your neck, feeling the cool kiss of a metal nuzzle against your temple.

"Oh what a catch, The Supreme Leaders whore"

You snarled, aggressively trying to shove him off you, but you were subdued with a wimpier as he dug the nuzzle of his blaster into the wound on your arm.

"And a feisty one too" His hot breath tickled your ear as you squirmed in his grasp, eyes searching for only one thing.

Kylo whirled in the field, standing in the middle of a circle of cut down men.

You eyes connected and his helmeted head lowered indistiguishably nodded.

Throwing his saber and using the force to propel it, you reached out your hand and also used the force to compel it into yours.

The cylindrical metal hit your palm and you imidiatly thrust it over your shoulder, igniting it once there.

And listening to the hiss of sizzling flesh as the blade sliced through his skull.

Taking no time to process what you had done, you whirled, saber ignited to face any other incoming energy, Kylo had been running towards you, using the force to snap necks and throw others towards the Knights to deal with.

He was utterly feral, a snarl etched onto his jaw and growls emanating from his lips. Black cape whirling behind him and blood listening red on his face.

You hoped it wasn't his.

He flung a man into you path, you didn't hesitate to jam the saber through his back.

"Saber" He said reaching out, you complied, using the force to summon you're blaster from where you dropped it.

The rest of the battle passed in a blur, and leaving the clearing you clothes were saturated in blood and mud.

You walked away from the hundred bodies in silence.

Arriving at a smaller camp you went to a creek to clean off, still not having uttered a word since you had taken not one but two lives in battle.

Ap'lek had fussed over you the entire way back, walking as he attended to you arm with surprising gentleness, and to your further surprise, helmet-less.

When you asked him about it his scandalous shoulder up nudity, his kind eyes darkened as he glanced over to the nearest trooper, who you know would never be allowed to see the Knights or Kylo without their pretentious garb.

He shrugged, his white dreads swaying and a smile returning to his face, "They won't be telling their friends" 

The darkness in his eyes kept you from pushing further.

Looking into the reflection of the slow moving water you hardly recognised yourself, even after having cleaned on.

You slammed your fist into the water, creating a small tide wave but most importably getting rid of that girl in the water.

You were headed deep into existential crisis territory.

"Stand up" You recognised his voice behind you.

You did, turning to find him closer than you expected, he proceeded to wipe away tears you didn't even know were falling.

You wouldn't break, you couldn't.

"Come back to camp"

"Yes supreme leader" You said harshly, not meeting his gaze.

Why were you sharing a tent with the supreme Leader, was an ounce of personal space too much?

You huffed and puffed lying on that roll mat, but as he settled himself across the tent you realised you could only rest easy once he was there.

And as you heard him finally still, you realised perhaps it was the same for him.

-Kylo Ren-

He awoke to a shuffling beside him, he turned over to where he knew she was only an arms length away.

She was twisting in her sleep, legs twitching as though she was running in her dreams, and it only escalated from there, delving in her mind he disregarded any intrusive thoughts he had about her privacy. 

He could help. 

He could sooth her pain.

He observed from a outsiders perspective, she was tied to two posts arms speed and knees bloodied on the floor, repetitive cracks of whip where intermittently with her cries, it was the repulsive Quarren that he had killed, perhaps if he had told her he killed him she wouldn't be in torment now. 

But as he listened in to what The landlord was saying he knew that's not the case.

"Murderer" 

"You killed those soldiers, they had families"

"You orphaned their children, leaving them just like you"

If he could kill that creature twice. 

But Kylo had seen enough 

"Wake up little rebel he said once, her blood streaked face looking up to him in shock.

immediately withdrawing his caught her wrists as she struggled, putting her self on top of her as she fought to regain consciousness, her head whipping from side to side.

-Little Rebel-

Thrashing as you awoke from the nightmare you were met with a strange sight, Kylo Ren was above you, holding your wrists beside your shoulders, you couldn't seem to stay your breathing as images still coursed through your head.

Your cheeks were wet as you looked up to Kylo through blurred eyes, damp lashes sticking together.

He's beautiful. A sculpture of a man above you, his black locks hanging over your face, and broad shoulders a cocoon around you.

You tired so hard to steady your breathing but to no avail. 

He sighed, pulling one arm towards him as he flipped himself onto his back, his other arm clamping you to him. You wriggled against him, groaning as you desperately tried to calm your heaving chest.

"Calm down, he can't hurt you anymore"

Your breath hitched, so he had invaded your dream.

Too shaken to argue the invasion you settled for listening to his heart through his ribcage, fingers fisting his shirt into balled up hands as you drifted off again.

You awoke alone, but it was still dark, the sounds of the forest even more clear at night, a choir of prey and predator.

A theme tune for your relationship with your mentor.

Speaking of which.

You exited the tent with his only his shirt clothing his body, only walking a short distance to find him sat on the lake shore, a waterfall humming behind him as you approached his silhouette.

Stopping only paces away from him you waited, unsure.

"Come" He confirmed.

You took a seat next to him, pulling your knees to your chest in the cold. 

"You did well today" He said, looking straight ahead, his dark eyes focussed on the waterfall. 

"I would have died if you hadn't thrown me you're saber" You muttered, your words barely a hiss on the cool breeze. 

"Is that gratitude I hear?" He asked, amusement hitching a ride on that baritone voice. 

"No" You responded.

"Good" He said, you realised he sounded weary, something you had never heard from him before, because weary meant vulnerable.

And for him to allow you to see that...

Today had shown you that the resistance weren't all they were chalked up to be, and that it had been a childs dream to hope they were the heroes you had heard storied of.

Because this is war, and there is no good and evil.

"You feel more at peace than you did earlier, Little Rebel" He spoke again, you looked to him again, and found him still facing forward. 

"I think I understand now" You said quietly, You were so tired, to tired for emotion.

The waterfall was so entrancing, it shimmeried in the light of three moons, sending a twinkling, scattered light over the surrounding, illuminating your blue eyes with stars. 

And when you looked to Kylo Ren again you found him staring back.

With another emotion you had never seen on that beautiful face.

It looked like longing.

You were silent, there was nothing left, no clever remarks to bombard him with.

Nothing to cover up what had been growing between you.

And when the bearskin of his hand brushed your face it became fixed, undeniable. 

The longing turned to a fiery lust with in his eyes and his face came closer to where yours was frozen, a crease formed between your eyebrows, that damned conflicted returning at light speed.

And there it stayed as his soft lips brushed against yours, as his fired honey eyes gazed deeply into yours, as you pushed his forehead to yours, his nose brushing against yours, his breathing deep and uneven.

Strands of his head fell to brush your face.

In a flash his lips were on yours, teeth tugging at your bottom lip to gain access, you obliged, the conflict being drowned out by everything his is, sheer dominance and feral desire.

And stars you could taste it as his tongue danced over yours, as his hand slipped on your waist, he pulled you closer, and your hands came to rest on his chest, which to your satisfaction was rising and falling with ragged breaths, his hand was impossibly large against the curve of your hip.

His mouth left yours to your displeasure, as you let out a long exhale his mouth moved to your ear, as he growled-

Stars you were in trouble.

"You made me proud today, my Little Rebel" The possessiveness in his voice made you pause, your hands on his chest pushing at him. 

"Thats not my name"

He moved his head back, and you looked to the waterfall again, desperate to run from the carnal instinct in his face.

"What is your name" It wasn't a question, it was a test, one you knew he knew that you couldn't pass. 

"I don't need to tell you" You hissed, not meeting his eyes as you stood quickly. 

Because you had to get away from that damed question, because it had no answer, nothing you could say to excuse the fact that you didn't know.

Before you had even straightened he was up, a giant hand grabbed your arm to hold you in place. 

"You couldn't if you wanted to, Little Rebel" You flinched at the cruelty in his voice, the mocking way his hissed the nickname. Gone was the caress of his touch, that fire still burned in his eyes but the darkness was back too.

"I can't" You retorted, an equal fury on your face, "But I will- I'll find it"

"I can give you more than a simple name, I can give you a title, a life beside the Supreme Leader of the galaxy" he spoke, the words sending chills down your spine.

"I know you feel it, the need to be someone, to find your place in the universe. Stars you even pretended to be resistance because to die scum would be better to die what you were. Nothing" He seethed the last word, and looking into his eyes you knew he meant every word.

"I can give you everything" His words turned sensual, but a subtle current of desperation lingered underneath, he pulled you closer, and you wanted nothing more to give into that dominance, for a second you let yourself lean into those strong arms, let yourself be lulled into the aura of possessiveness he exuded.

You wondered when he had figured out you weren't truly resistance, but you bet it was why he had become so lenient with you.

No, You wouldn't give in, no matter the reward. 

"I don't want that -I-I don't want you!" You yelled, tears spilling from your eyes under the harshness of his gaze.

Silence.

He was silence as the fire in his eyes died, He released your arm as though it burned him to touch, revolted him.

He stalked off further into the camp. 

Awaking, rising and dressing you were still processing the events of last night, Kylo had never returned to the tent after your fight.   
You were torn from your thoughts at the sounds of blasts you pushed the tent flaps, you winced at the speckled sunlight streaming down through the canopy,

Only to behold the bodies of the troopers who had accompanied you on your mission.

Who had fought with you in battle.

You ran forwards, but were promptly stopped by to gloved hands pulling you back, back against that familiar yet so distant chest.

"What have you done, they- Why?" You struggled to restrain the emotion, lost, staring at the bodies of your comrades. 

"They failed to do their job" He muttered into your ear. 

"But we won!" You exclaimed. 

"Their job was to protect you" His voice was hushed, but steady, commandeering in every way.

He held you there, forcing you to look upon the dying troopers as they twitched on the ground.

You twisted from his grip finally, spinning to face him, "And I'm alive"

"Injured" He simply said, insufferably calm as he raised a gloved hand to stroke your bandage.

You spun from him without another word to return to the tent.

That was the last you spoke until you arrived back at The Supremacy.

The phantom grace of his touch lingering on your arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it, I promised you smut and-
> 
> Did not deliver, sorry about that, you got a heated kiss though.
> 
> Honestly I got wrapped up in the plot, but that leaves us with eleven chapters of pent up sexual tension.
> 
> Sooooo will it be next chapter of the one after? We'll see. 
> 
> It's a slow burn, so count yourself lucky i'm being generous. 
> 
> If youre reading this drop a Kudo, it means the galaxy xoxo


	13. 13. So Much Angst.

Life on The supremacy became a routine, neither morning nor exciting, only variable in your training, where you moved between combat with the Knights and learning the ways of the force with The Supreme Leader.

"The ways of the force" Stars how pretentious 

Kylo Ren became a constant, he was distant, during the day at least, proceeding steadily with your training, and you progressed as such, leaning how to use the force to jump higher, fight better and move quicker.

But at night, the nightmares came. 

And they were vicious, alternating between the whippings you received as a child and the killings you made on the battle field. 

But worst of all the the dying trooper in your arms, the helplessness to felt as you failed to save her, failed to console her. 

Failed to even know her name.

Her name.

Not every night, and not always with enough force to wake you.

When you awoke screaming there was only one person who could console you.

Him, damn the stars you had tried everything, sedation from the Medbay, which Kylo had begrudgingly allowed you to take only after you practically begged. 

But it only increased the length of the nightmares, and when Kylo finally managed to shake you awake you vomited everything in your stomach into the refresher.

He made you sleep in his bed after that-

"Don't you want me to wake you, Little Rebel?" He had jabbed, his voice so harsh and deep that you could feel it rumble from his chest as he carried you back to his bed, ignoring your weak protests and squirms. You were no fool, you knew he had an ulterior motive in moving you into his bed, although he showed only a stoic reluctance as he calmed you in his arms .

He was all you had now. 

But when you woke up, it was back to the distance, you didn't mind, the nights were emotionally draining enough to make you numb, and dealing with mood-swings from him would only tire you further. 

During the day you were the honed warrior you knew you had to become, training with The Supreme Leader and building relationships with The Knights, who had all taken to you as their protege as well as their Master's, and they seemed intent on making you a mini them. 

Kylo had not mentioned you last night of the Wookie Planet, and you had kept it off your mind when around him, just incase. You could have sworn however, that light in his eyes you had seen when he kissed you, was starting to make a home in his eyes. 

-Kylo Ren-

She doesn't even have a name. 

Stars and he'd called her nothing. He'd seen the the look of pain that flashed across her face, and the untamed anger that followed and thought her a petulant child throwing a tantrum. He knew what it was to not be seen, to be abandoned. 

This is what he had been aiming for, this is what he'd planned, she was so reliant on him, she needed him.

But it didn't feel as good as he'd hoped, he felt that pang in his chest each time he had to wrench her from sleep, only to pull her close to him and lull her back into its embrace. Guilt.

So he held her, he shushed her, he cradled her and even let her have a lie in occasionally. He enjoyed the reliance. But the pain she felt, the sadness and fear it encroached on him, it wormed its way into his mind, it was as if her pain was seeping into him, seeking through her pores and being absorbed by his, he hadn't felt like this, he couldn't feel like this. 

And now, with her laying beside him, cradled in his arms, weak and vulnerable, he couldn't help but look down at her tear streaked face-

And feel.

-Little Rebel-

You awoke alone in that bed every morning, sprawled on the sheets with your hair spread across the pillow you clutched, you got up and dressed for the day, sliding into your sleek outfit that you had grown to love and as you tied your boots with your back to the door you heard it slide open. 

Expecting Ap'lek who usually dropped by at this time to take you to breakfast you turned to see Kylo, blocking the white light from the hall and casting a shadow long enough to caress your booted feet.

You shuffled, his silence made you uncomfortable, the strange transitions between day and night were always difficult with him, the affection he granted you and night was no were to be seen during the artificial light of day.

"Supreme Leader" You greeted, sarcasm already coating your voice "What a honour to have you grace my with your presence so early in the day"

"It's lunchtime, Little Rebel" He had that stupid mask on, and the black cape flowing over his shoulders.

You clapped a hand to your mouth, walking towards him. "You let me sleep in!" 

"How could I disturb you when you were sleeping so well" He took steps towards you too, 

"Don't patronise me" You sighed

He reached out to brush where the blaster shot had carved into your arm, his eyes not meeting yours when he asked "How is you arm?" 

"Its fine, you know it's fine" you said, subtly moving back where he touched you.

It was strange, you were just about comfortable with him holding you in bed, but it was out of necessity. For him to try and do so outside of that cocoon, that safe space, it felt uncomfortable.

And yet somewhere in the back of your mind you craved it.

"So what brings you here, I'm sure you have Supremely Leadery things to be doing" You brought a strained smile to your face in attempt to deflect. 

"I want to show you something" He said, you looked to his mask, searching for where his eyes would be, and nodded slightly. 

You took up your place beside Kylo Ren during the walk there, half a pace behind him, the massless Knight- Thats what the Stormtroopers called you, and they feared you.

And you revelled in it.

The only sound was the thudding of your boots on the shiny floors and the mulling of the military around you.

Sometimes you liked to imagine badass music accompanying you, a kind of instrumental soundtrack to Kylo's reign of terror, with you just tagging along.

You walked in silence until you arrived in some form of control room, the officers were sat in two sunken pits either side of a bridge running through to a platform, it was an impressive room, enough to make your eyes widen a little as you took it in. As you walked inside all personnel stood to attention, their eyes flickering between the two of you. They all had stations, full of blinking buttons and levers, it reminded you of the broken control sets parents gave babies to fiddle with, you supposed this wasn't particularly different.

And even from on the bridge you could see the fear in their eyes.

The Supreme Leader didn't even register them, and they resumed their tasks as you both reached the end of the bridge, and as you looked up from the you were met with a view. 

A view to end with views. 

It was unlike the view from Kylo's chamber- it was nothing you had seen before. 

Because converged before you was the entirety of the First Order fleet, Hundreds of smaller ships swarmed a fleet of ten troop carriers, all heading towards a large planet beneath.

"What's going on" You said quietly, "Where are they going" 

Kylo looked to you, pausing as he cocked his head.

You supposed you sounded stupid, but growing but a slave you were educated to the bare minimum, just enough to keep from annoying travelling patrons at the inn with your ignorance of their homes.

But you couldn't recognise this this planet and that was the reason your face was heating up.

Kylo must have read you embarrassment in the air as he moved on, "It's Chandrila, this is the last planet we need before we have all of the worlds in the core system."

The familiar feeling of disgust tickled your conscious, "This is a planet, Supreme Leader, not a collector's item" You said, your voice plain and even, staring ahead as you felt his gaze land on you.

He was silent for a moment, perhaps considering you, perhaps resisting from lashing out at you. A month ago you would have been shocked that he was invading a planet, called him evil, a monster, but now you knew better, the First Order- for all its faults- was just one side of the the war, they wanted a galaxy united and the resistance wanted one 'free' 

Each side has perks and each has their failings.

So you stayed silent when he spoke of how the trooper would infiltrate the rural areas where the Chandrilan army would be drafted from and maintain control whilst he attended negotiations and peace talks.

When he finished he turned to you,

"You're coming with me"

"I know nothing of negotiation, I didn't even know what planet this was" You countered evenly, truthfully visiting another planet sounded very tempting, but didn't change the fact you were deeply unqualified.

"Then this will be an opportunity to learn" He turned back to the planet placing a hand on your lower back, ushering you towards the glass he spoke quieter, but somehow you still felt every head in the room turn to you. 

"The offer still stands, all of this could be yours, at my side"

You gazed at the planet- Chandrila, it was a vibrant mixture of greens blues and browns with white clouds covering large portions, you yearned to step foot on a planet again, and to prove yourself to Kylo would be another step closer to your freedom.

"I will go with you to the negotiations" You said, not mentioning anything about the 'offer' 

He removed his hand from your back, turning without a word to lead you to training. 

You hoped you had made the right decision.

Today you would be learning force manipulation whilst fighting, Kylo explained, as he stood in only his undershirt and trousers. Practically naked by his standards. 

You cracked your knuckles once he indicated you could attack, you caught the side of his mouth twitching up before you advanced.

You struck out with your leg aiming for his side, he intercepted easily, twisting, you used the force to propel the other leg of the ground and twisted in the air, spinning, and kicking out with the leg, he moved his face and you landed awkwardly with you back to him and one leg still in his hand.

fast as a dune viper he dropped you leg and locked an arm around your throat, his favourite move apparently. You threw an elbow to his side and tried to use the force to swipe his legs, but he anticipated it and blocked with is how power. 

So you propelled from you legs again pushing up and over his shoulder, loosening his grip on your throat allowing you to use the leverage to put your legs on either of his side of his head, locking one around his neck at the knee. 

"I could get used to this" You muttered as you stifled a laugh, he used the force to push you off him and you let out a cry, grappling with nothing, falling down down.

Then a strong pain of hands caught you, and a harsh face was looking at yours, "You should have anticipated that, Little Rebel"

"And you should have anticipated this!" you shouted, with the last of your energy you threw a fist to the side of his face. 

He dodged and suddenly, you were falling again. Landing with an "Oof" on your back.

Without a second to make your move he was on you, hands the size of half your forearms pinning your waist stood the matt and his knees straddling you.

"And I could get used to this" He said with a smirk, his hair falling into your face from the proximity.

"Get of me you oaf" You gritted, struggling against his grip.

"Why? When your thoughts are telling me otherwise?" He hummed, one eyebrow quirked, but with a cold expression in his eyes. 

Your eyes widened as just for a second you allowed yourself to realised what being with with Kylo Ren would look like, he would hurt you, with no regard for your threshold, he would do unspeakable things. 

And you would let him. 

but you just stared at him, lost in those molten eyes, lips slightly parted as he too raked his eyes over your face. 

He pushed off the ground with that predatory grace and strode out of the hall, calling over his shoulder once, "See you tonight" with a telltale smirk.

And see you tonight he would. 

As you stood underneath the hot jets of the shower that evening you mind was whirring, turning over and over. 

And every thought was of him. 

You let your hand fall down your stomach tracing small circles below your bellybutton, heart pounding as your mind raced. 

You thought of him as he pressed you to the ground, as his breath tickled your ear- your finger slipped between your folds, teasing at your clit, a harsh breath tumbled from your throat, you remembered the way he kissed you after the battle, the way his hand had squeezed your hip.

A low moan escaped your back as you pressed your forehead against the cool tile.

You rubbed tighter cycled into your sensitive bud, mind overwhelmed as you came closer, all the while thinking of Kylo's hands all over you, of his cock pushing through your folds.

A sof moan broke through your lips, but you didn't notice, because there was another presence in your mind now, it started out as a low whisper, encouraging you, telling you to carry on, but it grew more commanding, morphing into a voice you recognised.

"Kylo" You sighed, panic beginning to set in.

"Carry on, little rebel" The voice commanded "Think of me, think of how I would touch you"

A louder moan broke out of your chest, this was wrong, wrong. 

A cry broke out of your chest as you tore your hand away from your sore clit, placing it on the cool tile, a tear slipping down your cheek as you spoke inwardly to kylo "Get out of my head" 

"come outside to me, I can make you feel better" His voice reverberated in your head. 

You didn't let ourself engage in mental warfare this time, you held you tongue, wrapping yourself in your towel and walking from the refresher hw was stood in the middle of the chamber, his coldness emanating across and brushing your exposed skin.

"You disobeyed me, Little Rebel" His deep growl sent shivers racing down your spine. you dropped your head, not lifting it as you heard him pace towards you, until you felt his forefinger and thump sharply pull your chin upwards, making eye contact with you, your damp hair brushing against his hand.

He was silent for a moment, the only sound was the soft pattering of the water falling from the tendrils of your hair. His eyes were simmering, focussed only on yours, blatantly searching. He increased the pressure on your jaw.

"Kylo" You muttered weakly lowering you gaze and tilting you head to try and loosen his grip.

"Look at me" He roughly pulled you face back to his, "You disobeyed me, I told you to carry on, you stopped, not only disregarding me but disregarding yourself."

Your eyes widened, "I don't-"

"I won't tolerate disobedience, and I won't tolerate you ignoring your needs either" His voice had lowered, barely a hushed whisper in that intoxicating baritone as he lowered his face to yours. 

You looked to him, truly looked at him. And you ached for him.

He exhaled slightly, before pushing his lips against yours, immediately seeking access to your mouth, his plump lips guiding yours open so he could slip his tongue past your teeth, he lowered his hand to your neck, where he softly squeezed, making you moan slightly in shock as you reach both hands to his.

You realised your mistake and your eyes darted open, as the towel fell to the floor his eyes opened too. 

You felt his mouth curve against yours in to a wide grin, and if his eyes were simmering before, they were blazing now, his templed creased faintly from his smile. 

"Kylo. Do. Not. Look. Down." You whispered against his lips, brow creased in concern.

"Im not sure if I can resist" He was pulling away, and you could do nothing but grasp onto his hand that was still holding your neck, panic coursing through you. 

His eyes lowered down your figure pulling his hand away from your neck finally as your hands fell lamely to your sides. Your breathes were shallow and soft, you were terrified he would reject you, but perhaps more terrified of the alternative.

His eyes finished their scan and found yours again, "You're perfect" Was all he said, it was all you needed, as he approached you again and kissed you lightly.

He withdrew again, you narrowed your eyes in confusion, which quickly dissolved into shock as he picked you up to slip you across his shoulder, your ass high in the air, where you felt the harsh tang of his leather glove. 

"I'm going to show you exactly what happens when you disobey me, little one"

He threw you down onto his bed, you landed with a bounce, a soft squeal escaping from your mouth to be greeted by a chuckle from his as you sat up and pushed yourself away form him slightly. 

He grabbed you ankles and pulled you across the sheets towards him, leaning into kiss you again, but this time leaving trails of kissed down you neck.

You gasped out slight moans as he sucked and nibbled his way to your collar bone setting your body alight at every point of contact, but you managed to struggle out "Kylo- wai-wait" You exhaled. 

He looked up, his eyes darkening slightly, he clearly didn't like being interrupted. 

Heat exploded across your face, and your lips seemed to be stuck together. Kylo leant over you so his head was directly above yours, his arms caging you in. But the proximity didn't stifle you like it used to, it reasured you, he had stopped, he was waiting.

You throat loosed and you took a long breath in "I've never done anything like this" You couldn't bring yourself to look into his eyes. Here you lay naked and quivering at his touch, with his practically fully clothed above you, pathetic, that's what you must look like. 

But when his gloved hand guided your face back to his, it wasn't disgust or even annoyance that lay in eyes, only a softness, one that you recognised, you had only seen it once. 

From the night by the lake, from the night you had first kissed him.

"Do you want this?" He whispered gently, brushing your hair behind you ear. 

"Yes" You mumbled.

"Tell me what you want" He said, more assertively this time. 

"I want you to-" You didn't even know what to call what he was going to do to you, you would once have called it love-making, but that wasn't what was happening here.

"to fuck you?" He demanded. 

"Yes" You nodded, more sure of yourself despite the crude phrasing .

"Filthy little thing, so eager to please her Master" He muttered, easing a hand down to your chest where he squeezed your breast, earning a soft moan from you, "So eager to moan for me" He smirked.

He stayed above you as his trialing hand reached you pulsating core, as he gloved finger dipped between the folds and gently found your clit, running smooth small circles over the mound. 

You gasped at the contact, lightning bolts running through your torso, he pushed that finger further through your folds and then up to your faces, 

"Already so wet for me" He hummed in amusement, before brining his glistening finger to your lips, understanding what he wanted you opened your mouth, blushing furiously as you sucked his finger of your juices.

"Good girl" He pushed off you, finally removing his top and trousers revealing the chilled muscles and broad chest you had seen before, but never allowed yourself to admire. He was now standing in his boxers, and as you propped yourself up on your elbows to watch him remove his clothing, you inhaled as you say the large erection pressing at the waistband of his boxers.

He looked you up and down approvingly before descending on you again, it was different this time, you were both more familiar with each other, and you mouths worked in unison, even as he roughly grabbed you waist and moved you with him to lie on the bed fully.

He reached down to pull his erection from his boxers and you watched, wide eyed, as you say what you were dealing with, it was huge. 

he put his hand to your jaw again "Open" He said harshly, and you obeyed, he pushed two fingers to the back of your mouth, almost eliciting a gag, but withdrawing beforehand. 

He reached the moist fingers down to his shaft and began pumping, his eyes, not leaving yours as he circled your clit with the other finger, teasing you mercilessly. 

"Kylo-" You sighed in frustration.

Without another pause he slid the head of his pulsating erection into your heat, you gasped, your back arching in pleasure and pain as he gave you time to become accustomed.

He began pumping the head in and out, slowly working further and further in, earning moans, yelps and seething breaths through your teeth as you battled through the ache.

All at once he entirely thrusted in, and you yelped, clutching onto his arms for support, he let you linger there for a moment, before you felt the familiar tug of the force pull your arms away from you, up towards the headboard where they crossed at the wrist you squirmed slightly, before looking back to him.

Stars he looked positively feral, taking in the sight of you helplessly splayed out before him. His hair clung in strands, much like your own from exertion, his limps were plump and red and slightly parted to pant slightly.

He was pumping in harder now, and you were beginning to forget the pain to enjoy the jolts of pleasure he was giving you every time he hit that spot. 

"This- This is what happens when you give yourself to me" He asserted, his voice dripping with dominance, he leaned forward to grip my throat with the hand that wasn't occupied with my clit, "This is what happens when your mine" 

You could only whimper in response, your body moving to the rhythm of his thrusts, completely at the mercy of Kylo Ren.

"Ah- Kylo" You said, unsure of what you were feeling, but something was coming.

"Are you going to come?" He brought his head down to you, placing a rough kiss on your lips before whispering a command in your ear. "Come for your Master, Little Rebel"

And with that you came undone, and him with you, the tightening and clenching of your walls enough to push him over the edge too. 

As you regained your sensed you realised he had flipped the two of you over, with you lying on his chest. Completely naked and incredibly satisfied, he stroked your hair softly, large fingers that not so long ago had been restricting your airways, now idly soothing your mind.

"You did well" He murmured. 

"Mhm" Was all you could manage, as he pulled a sheet over the two of you, and you placed your head in the crook of his neck. 

The whispers of his steady affirmations and the lull of his rising and falling chest aided sleep in claiming you.

And you could bet it was the reason why the nightmares couldn't get to you that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to get this out since its been a whilst since I've updated (Sorry about that, for my like 4 loyal readers) 
> 
> Anywayyyy leave feedback pleaseeee because its my first time writing smut soooo...
> 
> Also shit won't always be this vanilla don't worry.
> 
> And also gimme kudos it makes my day.
> 
> xoxo


	14. 14. Play the Role

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'd kill them all if they ever thought about hurting you" your eyes jumped to his, but found them lowered.

When the morning came the bed was empty, save for your spent form sprawled across the mattress, and a blanket haphazardly thrown over you.

You rose, draping the blanket around your shoulders and moving towards the bathroom sluggishly. Your muscles ached, especially your core. You hadn't dared to look down at the marks you were sure were littering your body.

You were also keeping your mind blissfully present- wow- had you never noticed how soft this blanket was? In your opinion this was no time for retrospect. Last night could remained buried in your tired mind for a while longer.

Rubbing the remanence of the sleep from your eyes you pressed the button for the refresher door. 

You sensed him before you saw him, and looking up you were met with a shirtless Kylo, his hair a wild mess atop his head, he was facing away from you, but his eyes were locked with your's in the wide mirror above the sink.

Your head shot down militantly, and you had taken a step backwards to leave when a familiar baritone voice forced itself through your lowered barriers.

"Stop" 

"Out" You gritted, knowing full well he would understand your meaning, taking another step towards the closed refresher door, your back feeling its cool metallic surface through the blanket.

"Then obey me" He said out-loud, his voice making you start a little, it echoed slightly in the stiflingly small room.

You raised your head again, 

Obey

it was a word he was throwing around an awful lot recently, but now, you knew, was not the time to challenge him. You were leaving for negotiations in a matter of hours.

You dragged your eyes up his body again, taking in his broad chest in the mirror, but your eyes catching on the lines that rakes across his back.

You felt the corner of you lips twitch up despite yourself, looking at the marks you had inflicted on him gave you some semblance of control. 

"Admiring your handiwork?" the early hour brought a gruffness to his already low voice. 

"Out of concern, of course" You smiled slyly, but wrapped the blanket around yourself tighter. Nerves sent shivers down your spine, you were apprehensive of how he would react to this turn of events.

Kylo huffed breath of amusement before tugging the waistband of his trousers down, You snapped your head to the wall, averting your gaze as an instinct. 

"Shy?" he chuckled, turning to you finally, clasping your chin in his hands before turning it up to his face, your eyes locking with his near-black ones.

You were speechless, stubborn in your resolution for no apparent reason, the two off you had crossed boundaries last night, but at the end of the day, he was your captor, and you were his prisoner. 

You blinked as he hooked a finger under the blanked on your shoulders and pulled It down. 

"Turn the shower on" He commanded, turning away and continuing to undress. 

You sighed, moving towards the cubical, it was black marble, with a glass pane at the forefront. You reached inside and turned the handle, hearing the shower start, but you didn't enter. 

Kylo stepped into the shower, you admired him for a second, as he pushed a hand through his hair under the steaming water, you watched his muscles ripple under his skin as his shoulders rolled back. 

"Join me" He said, a low growl just audible over the patter of the water.

As soon as you entered the shower Kylo was on you, pushing you under the spray. His hand fully encircling your neck so that as you gasped water fell into your mouth and eyes. The cool wall burned your skin and you flinched away from it, only to find Kylo's body pressed up against yours, caging you against the torturously cold surface.

"These negotiations are the playgrounds of the aristocrat" He moved his thump up and down slowly on you neck. 

His hair hung in tendrils, sending droplets of cooler water onto your face.

"You are an outsider, even more so than myself " He continued, his voice grave "If you step out of line, you put yourself in danger" 

"I understand-" your voice came out a strained whisper barely audible above the patter of the water

"No, you do not" He pressed his face into your neck, his other hand splayed on the wall beside you as he leant down.

"If they think you are weak they will kill you- They will do anything to weaken me" He continued, his breaths quickening slightly, his chest bumping yours. 

"Kylo-" 

"Supreme Leader" He corrected, you searched his eyes for humour, for a glimmer of sarcasm but found only a dark expanse. 

"Supreme Leader..." You started, averting your eyes for fear he might read the rejection you were feeling. "I'll be careful" You tried to say evenly.

He moved his grip up your neck, to just below your jaw, tightening it till you let out a hiss of discomfort and locked eyes with him. 

"Stay by my side the entire time, Little Rebel" His shoulders were now moving slightly with how laboured his breath was becoming, and in his eyes you saw something you had seen once before. 

Fear. 

When he had looked for you on that battlefield and found you surrounded by the enemy.

"You have to play the role, just like my Knights do."

"I will"

You acted on instinct, gingerly raising your hands to his face. You saw him glance at the moment, eyes darting but he didn't move. He stayed leant above you, his shoulders taking the brunt of the cascading water. 

You placed your hands on his face, your thumbs moving slowly over his cheeks whilst your fingers stayed motionless near his jaw. His jaw ticked a little when your thumb travelled over the taunt skin of the scar that stretched across his face, but he did not reprimand you. 

His eyes softened, and he visibly relaxed. 

And through those plump lips, a coarse whisper escaped, "I'd kill them all if they ever thought about hurting you" your eyes jumped to his, but found them lowered. You left the comment hang in the air, problematic as it was, you knew it was coming from a place within him that was too tangled to break open now. 

Procrastination at it's finest

You let a soft hum of contentedness through your lips, before breaking the silence-

"We better get a move on" You sighed, leaning down to grab the shower gel and holding it out to him "Do my back?"

He smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet kiddos, I have exams at the moment and my butt is being kicked. 
> 
> Love and kithes xoxo


	15. Dresses!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the breath escaped your lips you pulled the facade onto your face, hardening your features and activating your armour. 
> 
> "Don't give them anything to kill you for"
> 
> Easily done.

You sat across from an unusually casual Kylo in aboard the Nightbuzzard, he was lounged with his legs spread beneath the table, you were sat with a book on kyber crystals propped on your knees with your legs tucked under you. The knights were doing various chores around the ship, clearing their weapons and making last minute arrangements.

You had been entertained during the takeoff watching Ap'lek's constant bickering with Vicrul, it was very one sided and ended in Vicrul storming of as soon as you had exited light-speed to a chorus of laughter.

As for the Supreme Leader. He was eating, and stars could this man eat. He was leisurely making his way through his fourth bread roll as he flicked through files on his data pad.

"So... what's the plan?" You started awkwardly, fidgeting with the book in your hands, levitating it and dropping it with slow rythmatic thuds.

His eyes searched yours, a twitching in his jaw the only sign he was even considering you. 

"You want to see your dresses?" He quirked an eyebrow. 

"I want to see my dresses" You sighed, a smile creeping onto both your faces.

He led you to the room where the luggage was stored, waving in front of him to open the door. The room was chaos, you had each walked past and thrown your bags in when you had boarded, but troopers must have brought bags in after since there were three dress carriers piled just beside your case. 

You were practically jumping up and down, the thought of wearing something that didn't consist of combat gear or First Order overalls. 

You bounded over the the bags, with Kylo on your heels.

"You can't get them out, we don't have time to have them repaired." Kylo huffed. 

"I know, but-" You were starting to unzip the first one when he interjected. 

"'I know' what?" He looked down to you sternly.

"Supreme Leader." You nodded demurely, exaggerating innocence before grinning up at him.

He sighed deeply though his nose, his eyes flicking to your lips before they moved to focus on something above your head.

You turned back to the dresses, peeking into the first one.

"Red!" You squealed. "Red!!" You grinned up at him.

He chuckled. 

You couldn't sleep later that day, in the double bed you and Kylo were sharing, he hadn't come to the room yet. 

You tossed and turned, a guilty, overthinking brain whirring inside your tired head. You thought back to those dresses, you had reacted like a spoilt girlfriend, you had lost perspective. 

Conflict raged throughout you. 

You wanted to accept a place here, among people you got along with and a man who wanted you by his side. 

But there was the small matter of the murder, colonisation and more murder. 

That you were expected to take part in, learn to revel in as the knights did. 

The thing that scared you was that you knew you could do it. 

When Kylo came to bed you were awake, for fear of succumbing to nightmares without him to wake you up. 

He climbed under the sheets in silence, you felt the mattress dip and his arm snake around you waist, dragging your body across to meet his warm chest. 

"Why are you awake" He mumbled into you hair. 

You sighed, pushing your face into his arm "Busy" 

"I see" He replied, and you knew he understood, he couldn't necessarily relate, but understanding was enough. 

You went to sleep curled up in his arms once again.

The next day, much to your dismay, you donned the combat gear you wore to the battle. Your mind flitted back to that field, to to bloodshed you had witnessed, and caused. 

But it was intimidation, you saw that when you looked in the mirror, your long icy blonde hair pulled into two braids, your black ensemble tight over your upper half before widening into cargo trouser, flattering your curves and allowing you to move. 

You walked out to another familiar sight, Kylo with your armour. 

"You won't need to do any talking, walk with my Knights and follow their lead." 

"Yes Supreme Leader" You said evenly, looking up to him, He paused slightly before focusing back on fitting thin slip off the armour. 

He stepped back when he finished. 

"Be constantly vigilant, Little Rebel" He said gruffly. 

"Yes Supreme Leader" You nodded again. 

"Don't give them anything to kill you for" He chastised, the point seemingly needed to be driven home with more words than he usually used in a day.

"Yes Supreme Leader" You sighed with a slight smile, Kylo didn't seem to find it funny however. He closed the space between you, causing you to take a little step backwards. Your back against the wall and a frustrated Kylo against you, you found yourself mentally remarking that this was actually not your least favourite place in the world.

He gripped your chin between his forefinger and thumb, his eyes flicking between your eyes and lips. 

He tipped his head towards your lips, and despite yourself your breath quickened. 

"Behave" He hushed over you lips, before pulling away, smirking at your dissatisfied sigh and wide eyes. 

"Yes Supreme Leader" You said demurely, looking deep into the brown eyes that were on you like lasers. 

He was on you in a second, lips devouring yours and tongue forcing its way into your mouth as you let out a startled gasp. His hand closed around your neck, and he pushed slightly, pulling away and hovering over your lips.

"Behave" He growled, you felt the vibrations about against your lips. 

You just nodded as he pulled away, brining a finger to your lips as you tried to even your breathing.

You followed Kylo out of the the room to the ramp, forming up with the Knights, with yourself directly behind Kylo, and the Knights taking up positions beside and behind Kylo. 

You took a breath as the first rays of bright golden light seeped into the ship through the widening slit as the ramp lowered. 

As the breath escaped your lips you pulled the facade onto your face, hardening your features and activating your armour. 

"Don't give them anything to kill you for"

Easily done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some interesting chapters coming up, we're finally off the Star Destroyer again!!  
> Pop me a kudo if you feel like it xoxo


	16. Society?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can see everything in here, your fears" 
> 
> The pain was behind your eyes now, as black spots flooded your vision
> 
> "Your hopes"

Female interaction. 

You decided this was what you were most excited for, aside from a brief meeting where Captain Phasma almost shot you in the face after you walked into a meeting to get Kylo, you were completely starved of feminine presence. 

Stars the power that woman before you exuded could be compared to Kylo, but instead of rage and deadliness, an aura of intellect surrounded her. You could see why she was loved and respected by the people of Chandrilla

But it was the kind that you knew could be the death of you the second she wished it to. 

And the shiny armour? So shiny.

Your mind flickered back to the dying woman you held in your arms, how in that moment you wanted nothing more than to know her.

Simply put you wanted more than the company of the knights, they were men, and that was reason enough for you to despise them. 

The walk into the glistening tower that marked the government of Hanna City should have gone smoothly, both troopers and Hanna guards lined the street to prevent passers by from being too close to certain death, marching swiftly in the form of Kylo and his Knights. 

And yourself, the realisation had hit as you pushed your eye-line across the streets only to find the civilians gazes catching on you after Kylo had passed, their eyes widened and they whispered among each other. 

You ignored it, understanding completely the confusion they were experiencing at your being present among the most lethal boy band in the galaxy. 

You were just as confused. Perpetually. 

Chandrilla was stunning, you had glimpsed it as you came into land, outside the city it was incredible, green rolling hills and glens of derlacs grazing. The city was incredibly high tech, you had glimpsed many hover cars and trams, something you had only heard about from seldom travellers who had been misfortunate enough to pass through your ill-fated village on Tatooine. 

But peace never seemed to "May the Resistance rise!" A shout from a civilian echoed though the street, seemingly the louder than every other sound combined. 

Kylo halted, with yourself and the Knights doing the same. 

You watched as Kylo hesitated, saw as he considered, pushing against his rage. His first clenched and his head slowly turned in a manner you were familiar with.

He was loosing the battle in front of your eyes.

In a fluid motion he fully twisted to the man, who you saw to be a scruffy looking human with a sandduster helmet on, his fist raised as his chest heaved. Kylo's arm shot out and the man's head flew to the side, whilst his body stiffened, eventually crumpling to the ground when the force grip was withdrawn, lifeless.

You kept your face steely, watching his back with only slightly narrowed eyes, sure he could feel your tangible displeasure. You wished you had the blessing of a mask like the rest of them, you continued walking like nothing happened. 

After a further short walk you reached the largest building in Hanna City, it was bustling with activity, all manner of species rushing about in their native dress. A burst of colour so vibrant you almost winced. 

You were greeted with a thinning crowd, parting as what you were guessing were Chandrillian officials, a woman and a male Pantoran, both elegantly dressed in conservative navy blue pant suits. 

The woman smiled regally as she took in the group, standing for a moment as Kylo stood incredibly still, you wondered how she hadn't crumpled under his gaze yet. 

After what felt like a millennia, she gave a slight incline of her head before greeting them. 

"Supreme Leader, it is a pleasure to welcome yourself and your company into our city." 

A pause. You caught her eye twitch slightly.

"Prime Senator Vincu, Senator Bularq, we are pleased to be here" Kylo spoke, the modulator eradicating what little emotion may have been held in the phrase. The senator Bularq's blue face wrinkled slightly in a frown, his offence barely masked.

He wouldn't be lasting long.

But Vincu simply smiled to the cohort, her eye snagging on you with a look of controlled intrigue, tipping her head to you before moving forward with the welcome. 

You caught the Panatoran's gaze in an instant, his eye raking up and down your body before he reached your glowering face. 

Perhaps it was your furious eyes that made his turn on his heel to follow the departing prime senator, or perhaps it was Vicrul beside you, casually swinging his scythe over his shoulder, breaking the male's view of you most efficiently. 

The Prime senator walked beside Kylo during the tour of the ground floors facilities, which included shops, holoscreening halls bars and separate glass turbolifts to each conference platform and auditorium. 

The thing that stunned you most was the smiles, everyone seemed so happy, so emotive, even seeing frowns and scowls so freely expressed was a breath of cool air to the staleness of a militaries bravado.

The Prime Senator stopped outside of the central turbolift. 

"This will take you to your suites, we will send refreshment up with information for this evening's event, I hope you find everything to your taste."

You stepped into the lift with Kylo, watching as Ushar gave a small signal to the troopers who turned to guard the lift, before steeping in himself and pressing the activation button.

You were finally able to breathe again, slumping a little agains the glass opposite the door of the rapidly ascending box. 

The view, you let out a little gasp as you turned to face the glass, peering out onto the city, it truly glowed, as the singular sun set it's glass buildings set the orange glow with a joyful elegance. 

As the lift slowed you let Kylo's hand pull you from where you were practically drooling over the city. 

"Will we get to go out at all?" You asked, looking up to him as he guided you out of the turbolift. 

"We need to assess the area first" He said bluntly, veiwng something on a data-pad Trudgen was holding to him as you entered the hall with your rooms on. 

So you stood silently beside him, taking in the sleek modern elegance of the hotel, with black wooden floors and high white walls, decorated sporadically with abstract art and sculptures. 

The Knights seemed deaf to the appearance of the hotel, instead marching though the halls and doors, inspecting the rooms.

"Come" Kylo said, you nodded, slightly dazed by the entire experience.

He lead you to a room, standing to the side and nodding towards the door.

He had started doing things like this weeks ago, you sighed, focusing on the door and connecting with the force. 

Asking for it to open the door.

You squinted slightly, asking again with more energy. 

It swung open suddenly and violently, creating a dent in the wall behind it.

You realised your mistake instantly, perhaps even in the second that it took you to open the door. 

Kylo stood, he waited as you refused to look at him. 

You felt the Knights stilling from where they were finishing scanning the rooms. 

You walked into the room and he followed "They already brought out bags up, that's nice" You remarked idly, refraining from cowering in the tense atmosphere. 

Kylo walked up behind you, tearing his helmet from his head as he used the force to push you to the wall, which you hit with a thud. 

You cursed under you breath knowing exactly what he was going to say. 

"You asked" He gritted, the force no longer present but you stayed still, your hands by your sides as you gazed at the the floor beside the bed.

Yes, the bed, singular.

"You asked!" He repeated, frustration plain in his voice.

"I know I asked" You said, evenly. You felt you chest beginning to constrict as his overbearing anger flayed your nerves. 

"You are not training to exchange your sympathies with the force"

"It's never said no" You replied finally looking up, sighing as he narrowed his blazing eyes, the amber flickering in his anger. 

This had all started when he had read your mind during training to ascertain why you couldn't operate at the speed he deemed you capable off. 

"The force is there to be commanded" He stared intensely at you, a small frown creasing his brow. "It is yours to command" He placed a hand on your shoulder, squeezing slightly .

That day he worked you till you were close to dropping, running drills before roaring at you to command the force to bend it to break it.

You were crumpled on the floor when you finally snapped, when you were too exhausted to exert the unconscious morals that forbade you from ruling the force completely. 

From where you knelt you seethed at Kylo, finally giving way to the rage building in your chest, allowing it to dictate the way the force flowed throughout you, but in your wearied state your body couldn't fully edict the forces direction. 

It erupted from you like a sonic boom, the entire room shook, and you heard distant alarms from the section of the dreadnaught. 

You turned with a slanting smile to Kylo, your shoulders heaving and you hands upturned and outreached by your sides, smug in you defeat. You smile slipped when you saw him sitting, having fallen back with the explosion. 

A million thoughts went through your head, was he ok? Was he going to hurt you for the explosion?

You became aware of how still you had become when the oxygen in your lungs began to run out. It was then you realised you weren't breathing. 

Kylo had stood by then and was advancing, he was not the cause of you asphyxiation, you knew what his force signature felt like by now, and if he was worried he was masking it well. He crouched beside you as your wrecked body continued to tiredly hyperventilate, taking your chin in his hand and whispered only two words before you slipped away. 

"Good girl" 

In the present you knew the event was on both of your minds, the truth was that you were scared of that side of Kylo, the side that would watch you suffocate and walk towards you unfeeling, the man that would allow you to destroy worlds if it meant you were progressing in your training. 

But most of all you were petrified of feeling that lust again, the all consuming fire that heated you with its glorious flames when you crushed and manipulated the force. 

You felt your bottom lip quiver as you looked up to Kylo, but you nodded, you knew there was nothing you could do to avoid the power inside you. 

So you took ahold of the strands inside you, centralising them in you before pushing them out, this time through your hands placing them ever so gently on Kylo's arms as you invited him inside your head, letting him witness your command.

You pushed him back with the force, albeit weakly, and he allowed it, stepping back a pace or two, but not stumbling as you had hoped. You simultaneously pushed in out of your mind, slamming down mental walls and retracting your consciousness further back. 

You looked to him now, waiting for his move, pleased with yourself, and finding yourself hoping he would be pleased too. 

But with a searing pain he was back in your mind, from somewhere distant you felt a pain in your knees, you had dropped. 

"You haven't bested me yet, Little Rebel" 

His location in your mind changed, sending daggers of pain down your spine. 

"I can see everything in here, your fears" 

The pain was behind your eyes now, as black spots flooded your vision

"Your hopes" 

Shivers flooded from your eyes to your finger tips. 

Abruptly he withdrew, earning a gasp of relief from you. You stared up to him from where you knelt, tears clouding your view. 

He approached slowly, stroking strands of hair away that had fallen from your braid, before tracing your jaw from your ear to your chin, where his fingers took their usual spot. 

You raked your eyes from his large boots along the black fabric of his trousers to his where his tunic stopped at his neck, stopping just before you met his eyes. 

"You've come so far" He nodded slightly, almost begrudging. You did nothing but stare from where you were still recovering on the floor. 

You realised just how vulnerable you were.

"This morning, they looked but they couldn't touch, because you're mine" He slid his thumb over your bottom lip, the leather hissing against the pink skin. His face still so cold as he pushed the digit into your mouth.

Your eyes widened in shock as you jolted back slightly, twisting your head. But he gripped your chin again, tutting.

"Haven't you rebelled enough for one day?" He pressed down slightly with his thumb till you felt a gag coming on.

You didn't bother trying to speak, you knew he probably wanted you to, just to add more fuel to your embarrassment.

But slowly, you shook your head. 

A rush of air escaped his nose in what seemed to irritation edged with amusement. 

"Then a lesson in obedience is in order" He chuckled darkly, withdrawing his thumb and running it down your lips, coating them in your own saliva. 

Next his hand reached where you knew it would, to his tunic, which with a slip of his wrist he released it, with only his undershirt and trousers.

He stood for a moment, gazing down to you. 

Before he smirked "Undo them" 

You glared at him, debating fighting off the undeniable arousal turning in your stomach for only a moment. 

You gave in.

Your hands creeped up to his belt, unbuckling it before puling his trousers down.

Your hands faltered at his waistband. 

He backed away slightly and your eyes shot up, wondering what you had done wrong. But he was only leaning down, and a large hand landed on your head, stroking your hair till it rested on the back of your neck. 

The action made you shudder a little and lean into his touch, but abruptly he yanked your head towards his, whispering in your ear.

"I won't be gentle this time"

As he withdrew to look you in the eye-

You grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 2k hits!! drop a comment and kudo if you've made it this far.  
> The plot is going to really thicken in the next couple of chapters. 
> 
> Go follow me on tiktok @Novacant :)


	17. No one puts little rebel in the corner.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What happens when it says no" He muttered against your temple,
> 
> You stayed still, muted confusion rolling from you, the passion of what had just occurred wiping its causation from your mind.
> 
> "What happens when the force doesn't want to help you?

-"I won't be gentle this time"

As he withdrew to look you in the eye-

You grinned.-

The palpable excitement bubbling in your stomach was enough to make you shake slightly, but it was the nerves that Kylo sensed above all, and you knew he basked in it.

He liked that he scared you.

You pushed the thoughts of the disfunctionality away, preparing for what you knew was going to be a difficult task.

You took your bottom lip between your teeth as he reached down, continuing where you had left off, pulling his large erection out from his boxers.

Your mouth shaped into a small 'o', you still hadn't quite come to terms with its length or girth. Kylo reached for you jaw again, his thumb brushing over the moisture on your lips.

"Open" He commanded, the baritone of his voice sending shivers up your spine as you obeyed.

The Supreme Leader hissed slightly as the tip of his cock breached the entrance of your lips, you immediately widened your mouth as far as it could go to encompass him, jaw straining at the intrusion.

He moved slowly and deliberately, his eyes flitting between your's and your lips. He released your jaw and moved his gloved hand to the back of your neck, gripping it with ease, before pushing in further, filling the back of your throat.

You squeezed your eyes shut as you gagged, but they reactively shot open as he increased his grip on your neck to a painful extent.

"Look at me Little Rebel"

You groaned against his cock as you felt hot tears gather in your eyes, you forced your throat to relaxed, earning a gratuitous groan from Kylo.

Eyes still open and locked with his, you observed as his movements descended into erratic thrusts. You jolted at the thud above you as his planted his palm on the wall to steady himself.

His eyes were practically black as he gazed down at you, meticulously focussed on you with a penetrating gaze while his cock slid in and out of your mouth, at that moment in time you were the only person in the galaxy to him, and he to you.

His breaths were escaping in short puffs, and hybrids of moans and growls would escape intermittently.

He was the picture of dominance, towering above you, pushing as much of himself into you as could be taken.

He pulled himself out of you quickly and you kept your mouth open, he angled your head up as he came in your mouth, spirts missing and landing on your cheeks and chests. He looked down of you for a moment, eyes simmering with something, frustration perhaps?

You lowered your head as the rejection made your eyes sting, the tears that you had previously been so proud of containing fell down your face in streams, mingling with his seed on your cheeks. You fought uselessly against the gloved that pulled your head to regain the eye contact, he swiped the cum from your face, collecting it on the leather before bushing it into your mouth.

"Good girl" He muttered, you let your eyes flickers to his, and you finally recognised what was in his eyes. Possessiveness.

The need that had previously consumed you set in again, heat flooding your core, you watched him expectantly.

Instead he offered you a hand to rise, the other tucking himself away. You frowned, this wasn't how it was supposed to go.

Brushing away his hand you clambered to your feet, ignoring the shooting pains of protests from your knees, to brush past him.

"Bad girls don't deserve pleasure, Little Rebel" He asserted, turning slowly on his heel to track your movement towards the bathroom.

At the last second he grabbed your arm, pulling you to him, his chin resting on your head.

"What happens when it says no" He muttered against your temple,

You stayed still, muted confusion rolling from you, the passion of what had just occurred wiping its causation from your mind.

"What happens when the force doesn't want to help you?" He pulled from you, looking down on you with hard eyes, for a second you could have sworn they flashed a molten orange.

He swept out of the room, leaving you to unpack and dress for the evening. 

After showering and refreshing you had resolve had hardened, gone was the brutal feeling of rejection, replacing it was a thirst for revenge, walking back out into the empty room you felt truly and deeply dissatisfied.

So naturally, a revenge scheme was important.

It just that he hadn't made you cum, he was a prick, you knew that.

What he didn't know was that you could play the role too.

You knew somewhere in your abandonment issue addled brain that this was a terrible idea, that the strange cocktail of life experiences bubbling away in you would only lead to destruction.

But his assumption of his ownership disgusted you, reliance on him was out of the question.

And hey, at least you're self aware.

This wasn't the first time irrational vengence took over your common sense, in your tiny village on Tatooine you had once made enemies of an entire band of Twi'leks after they had tripped you over on your way out of the bar, earning you scornful laughs from your already condescending male counterparts.

So the next day you had snuck into their accommodation, past your sleeping masters room, hearing the snores only a grotesquely obese Quarren could make, and into the room housing the female entertainers.

Long story short you lined the tip of their sink tap with merwort oil, a natural laxative you had procured at no extra cost to yourself, since the healer owed you a favour.

(You had stopped a fleet of Tusken raiders from stealing her cat for a Sarlac pit sacrifice)

The next morning their company was delayed by a whole day for unknown reasons. As you passed Morg's inn on the way to work you smelt, with a strange delight, the smell of an atrocious amount of faeces.

So if you decided to have a little more fun than you should tonight, nothing, no amount rationality in the galaxy, could stop you. 

Ap'Lek was waiting outside your door as you stepped out, he had forgone his mask and traded his armoured clothing for a navy blue tux. dressed in the black silk gown, which had been labelled for tonight, the floor length gown sported a slit to your mid thigh, it hugged your waist and settled on your hips, perfectly accentuating your curves.

Ap'Lek, who had his helmet and armour removed looked you up and down appreciatively, giving you a cheer of encouragement and insisting you twirl for him, which you did with an bashful elegance. You felt amazing, and knew your once malnourished body was transforming into the sleek figure of a warrior.

You laughed as you took the Knights arm, admiring how his brilliantly white dreads were tied to lay on his back. The two of you laughed as you reached the elevator, your amusement died considerably when Ap'lek mentioned that the supreme leader was waiting downstairs, and that you were to stay by his side all night.

"I don't know what happened between you two after we arrived" He said, holding up a hand to your protests "And! I don't want to know" He continued "But you need to fall in line, just like the rest of us did" He looked ahead and you did two, softening momentarily, the rationality again battling your resolution to cause havoc for the man who had just hours ago denied you an orgasm.

You didn't have time to answer Ap'lek, the doors slid open, and you were met with a gloriously well dressed Supreme Leader.

The all black Tux he wore outshone the Knights around him, the craftsman ship incredible, down to the black metal that adorned the cufflinks and buttons. He loomed over the others in the lobby, who avoided the group of warriors like the plague.

You realised then, that primarily, he was a politician. That role took precedence over even being a force wielding killing machine.

Although you could be sure even he forgot that.

Authoritarian to be sure, perhaps an emperor or king would be more fitting, he was certainly regal, but no benevolent ruler by any means. 

Behind your thinly veiled anger you allowed a sliver of admiration to slip though, his versatility was impressive.

You strode towards him, allowing a smirk to tweak at your lips as he held an arm out, people were certainly staring now. You allowed the smooth curls of your snowy blonde curls to sway over your shoulder as you turned to take your place at his side.

Your smugness was snuffed in an instant by the coldness of his demeanour, you could feel it practically radiating from him.

"Behave" He spared a glance down at you, and you tilted your head in acknowledgement.

In truth it was the opposite of what you planned to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm literally just feeding you rats enough for you not to starve xoxox   
> Thanks for the love guysss we've got some plot twists coming up anddddddd kylo gets mad at us next chapter who can guess why? :0


	18. People Are Watching.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The anger radiating from him was tangible, "Kylo-" You started tiredly, your voice cracking slightly under the weight of suppressing further tears. 
> 
> In an instant Kylo crashed his lips into yours, aggressive in a way that didn't scare you, not anymore. 
> 
> He kissed you for only a moment, before brining his forehead to rest on yours, his hands holding the back on your neck.

You had swept the room on the arm of The Supreme Leader, being able to sense his emotions incredibly helpful in engaging with the public, you knew who to smile and who to condescend. 

You felt like a decoration, never informed enough to be involved. 

However, you were almost thankful for the stiff manners among the attendees, they rarely asked you for a name, and when they did Kylo swept the conversation away with practiced, if a little rusty, civility. 

The two of you approached the bar, halting only when a man and woman intercepted you, the man payed his respects to Kylo, sleeking his hand over his greasy hair with a simpering smile. 

"Join me whilst the men talk, dear?" The woman turned to you, her shimmering green gown was far more extravagant than yours, with puffed sleeves and clearly designed to exaggerate her curvaceous figure. It suited her well, and as she smiled at your sincerely, the wrinkles around her eyes told you she must be in her mid-life. 

You faltered, your mouth opening but uncertainty holding your tongue, despite your wish to join the woman you felt powerless to do so. 

You looked up to Kylo, seeing permission and cursing yourself for doing so. He deigned to gift you a slight nod, how delightful of him. 

You accompanied the woman to the bar, aquatinting yourself on the way, you found she was a lady, with her husband holding the title Lord of Heophar, the sector of Coruscant responsible for churning out large amounts of First Order armour. 

Her name was Quin, the two of you made small talk about the event untill you reached the bar,

"I must say I am impressed at your performance tonight, I hate to sound sound of putting but you are the talk of the room" She leant towards you, giving you a knowing look.

"I am just glad I can provide some entertainment" you responded amiably. You were so thankful you had bothered to correct the grammar mistakes the travellers had pointed out in your youth. 

You scanned her, reaching out with the force, trying to uncover any ill will she might be harbouring. 

You couldn't find any, but your guard remained up.

Her gaze seemed to pierce you, she wasn't stripping you with the force, but you felt exposed never the less. instead you recognised a fine tuned use of intuition. Either way it was making you want to spill everything to her. 

"Indeed, there are many people here dying to talk to you, that is-" She leaned in, side-eyeing you with a small smile "-gain the favour of their future empress" 

The room around you stopped, a high frequency buzz hit you like a brick wall as the information sunk into your skull.

These people thought you were to rule beside Kylo. 

You had thought very little about the consequeces of walking into the room on Kylo's arm, assuming they would acknowledge your place among the Knights, with rumours of intimacy with Kylo nothing but buzzing flies. 

But somehow they had got it into their wealth engorged heads that you were to be an Empress. 

You head turned to Kylo, finding him instantly across the room, his gaze locked on your's with a frown. 

You assumed this was the first time he was hearing of such a preposterous idea, you removed it from your thought for the moment, vowing to bring it up with Kylo later.

You briefly lowered you mental guard, feeling Kylo's familiar force signature lingering at the border, listening "I can assure you I will never be an Empress, The Supreme Leader is training me with the Knights, I serve the First Order like anyone else" 

You sipped on your drink, leaving your guard down as you proceeded, leaning into the woman as if to share a valuable secret. 

"Between you and me, Quinn, I don't think he could ever share that throne, you know how petulant those sort of men are" You let your mouth curve up into an indulgent smile as she snorted on her drink, quickly dabbing her mouth on a handkerchief. 

You dropped the warmth from your expression as you turned back to Kylo, watching his knuckles turn white as his huge hands gripped around a Champagne flute, dwarfing it substantially. 

His eyes flickered as you slammed you mental boundaries back down, before looking back to Quinn.

"I do hope you'll be my guide tonight, I'm hoping it's not just you who I can tolerate." You pouted slighting over the rim of your glass, feeling the warmth of the weak cocktail beginning to spread in your gut.

"Any friend of mine will be a friend of yours before the night is out" She grinned.

She stood and you went to join her, shooting a wink over your shoulder to the handsome bar tender who had served you. 

You smirked as a blush crept over his collar and his hands faltered on the taps. This should be easy.

\---

The next hour or so was spent besides the bar, socialising with who ever Quinn deemed worth your time, she was constantly on your arm, whispering to catch you up on the latest socialite gossip. 

"Are you a Knight?" 

"No, she isn't muscly enough! You too beautiful to be in combat sweetie" 

"I heard she's being trained in the force by The Supreme Leader" 

But among the drunken questions of the women who were steadily becoming less and less composed, there was one that never failed to make your chest constrict. 

"So what is your name dear!" 

You varied you're answered, sometimes replying jokingly "Its classified" other times simply switching the conversation and feigning deafness. 

You were gracious and kind, constantly weaving lies around the truths you couldn't divulge and flattering your way to the answers you needed. 

You hated their simpering faces peering at yours, but whatever it took to get a foot hold in this strange new world. 

You felt more powerful eyes on you at all times, whether it was the dark gaze of the Knights, or Kylo's pitch black force signature tapping lightly at your mental barrier, letting you know he was there. 

But it was far from reassuring, it was a warning. 

You knew the day you took comfort in that intrusion of your privacy would be the day you had lost all control in your life.

The burning in your chest was growing at the thought, heat unfurling to your extremities as you smiled, reentering the conversation with Quinn and a governor on the board of humanities with a new vigour. 

You left the group after a minute, excusing yourself to the bar, taking seat there and allowing a snort of air to escape in private amusement. So many thick skulled people in one room. You lifted your head with a fresh smile plastered on your face as the handsome bartender approached you, slinging a cloth over his shoulder and leaning onto the bar with a small roguish smile. 

"What can I get for you love?" He winked, blue eyes raking up and down what was visible from where you sat.

"Just water please" You batted your eyelashes a little, hoping he would take the morsel of bait you were offering. 

"Come on now, a pretty lady like you can't be without a drink" He grinned, leaning even closer. 

"I bet you say that to all the girls" You rolled your eyes exaggeratedly, sighing. 

"Definitely not, I'd loose my head if I tried" He grimaced, turning to grab you a glass of water. 

"And what makes you think you won't loose your head talking to me?" You suppressed a laugh at just how wrong he was, but you supposed he must be the only person in the room who was unaware you were here with the Supreme Leader. 

Awkward. 

"You said please" He smirked, pushing a slender hand through blond curls as he set your glass down. 

You nodded mutely, a blush spreading over your cheeks and a lump in your throat, his previous words had triggered a realisation, that if you were to pursue him, for the sake of pissing Kylo off, you would put him in mortal danger. 

So with a few casual words of farewell, you departed back to Quinn's side, rejoining a conversation in which a tedious portly man was trying to make data logging sound interesting. 

You had nearly burst into tears when Quinn whispered in your ear that the night was almost halfway over, it had felt like eons since you had pranced into the room with hopes of tearing Kylo down a peg. 

"Come, I want you to meet someone special" Quinn sensed your energy reserves failing, and tugged you to a new part of the hall. 

You ascended the stairs that lead to a large platform in the centre of the far wall, the structure was mirrored on the other side, with extravagant gold banisters and marble steps, the grandeur seemed to be taken to a new level, quite literally due to the increased altitude, but the dresses were more extravagant among those wearing them, and there was the distinctive smell of cigar smoke. 

How prehistoric. 

The people up here were far more reserved in their curiosity of your, turning their nose up in your direction whilst making your acquaintance, a few flirting far more boldly than those below had dared. 

Eventually you had made your way though the crowd towards the person Quinn had wanted to introduce you to, a beautiful Togruta female, with a extravagant headdress covering her montrals which were striped with a striking dark blue, contrasting her reddish skin and the silver of her flowing robe. 

"Ah, this must be the apprentice I have heard so much about from the Supreme Leader" She spoke with a coarse voice, wisened with age, her smile exposing the wrinkles in a similar pattern to Quinns. 

The shock that swept across your face was quickly buried with a smile, as you laughed "It seems a reputation is proceeding most of my interactions today, I hate to think what he said about me" 

The older female laughed with you, introducing herself as Mora, leader of the Togruta clan here on Naboo. You glanced around yet again, catching sight of Kylo standing in circle of smoking men across the platform, he didn't look over.

"Quinn dear, I would like to discuss some things with our young friend here, you should go and find your poor husband" Mora's eyes twinkled softly in the golden lights, and Quinn, far from being offended chuckled and gave your shoulder a squeeze before disappearing down the stairs. 

"I can sense your discomfort, you need not pretend with me" Although Mora's words should have spiked panic in your chest the serenity of her tone made you feel nothing but safe.

"Are you force sensitive?" You questioned tilting your head slightly, and keeping your voice low in a way that provoked a amused laugh from Mora. 

She laughed "Togruta culture embraces the force, we believe that it can reinforce our intuition, but we are no Jedi Knights" She laughed, and you nodded sheepishly.

There that word was again, 'Jedi' Kylo had referred to it when he spoke of training you, he said he didn't want you to be one, but neither did he want you to be a 'Sith' 

If only you had access to a library, or even a datapad with an info-pass. 

It was hitting you now, just how little you knew, that you knew only what he wanted you to know. And Stars the anger was building in you now, because you knew he was using you, that was a fact that you couldn't outrun. 

You smiled thinly at Mora, quite frankly your social interaction battery was running low, especially after you had been starved of contact for nearly a quarter cycle. 

Sensing your growing discomfort Mora looked over your shoulder to where Kylo was discussing business with the president of the medical committee. The Togruta took your arm and guided you from the centre of the the platform moving towards a cracked window, the wind on your face and the more secluded location let a slice of serenity trickle into your tumbling mind, and Mora resumed the conversation.

"I hate to spring this on you, child, but I sense your 'date' is growing restless" She held up a hand to the beginnings of your protests at her word choice, her smiling face growing more serious. 

She spoke again as she looked across the faintly glowing city to the countryside of Naboo, "My parents took me here as a youngling, they were ambassadors in the city, but out in the countrysides they were nobody but my parents" a faint smile graced her wisened face. 

"That's beautiful" You said softly, unsure of why she was telling you this but the tone of her voice told you to go along with it. 

"You sound sad" She remarked, and you nodded slowly, eyes flicking to her face in the reflection of the window.

"I didn't know my parents," You sent the force out to her mental barriers, which were weak but present enough to alert her if you tried to break through.

You sensed her apprehension immediately, it was strong and tinged with a near illegible mix of tingling excitement and curiosity wafting across her boundaries.

"But you knew that" You continued, turning to face her directly, your eyes running over the pale white markings on her reddish skin. "So what is it you want to tell me?"

She stayed gazing out the window as you folded your arms over your chest, suspicion growing bu the second. 

"Nearly twenty years ago my clan was entrusted with a baby girl, the force was strong within her" Your eyes widened as you're felt your heart rate climbing.

The old Togruta continued softly "The baby had these beautiful blue eyes, I knew I would remember them as long as I lived" She finally turned to face you, a sincerity in her eyes you could recognise without the force.

"My eyes are grey" You muttered. 

"Eyes reflect the things they've seen, something tells me your's have seen a lot, but its not the colour that mark you as the girl I reared" It was your turn to look away.

"Who were my parents?" You injected the little energy you had left in you into the the question, it was the information you needed, and it was at your fingertips, finally. 

"That is not my secret to tell youngling, it was your parents wish you didn't know. By oath I cannot betray them, but meeting you here is no coincidence, the force has lead you to where you are now, it is imperative you find yourself amongst the chaos that walks beside you." 

A familiar rage was building inside you, but it was quickly extinguished by an even more familiar exhaustion. You knew she wouldn't budge, and you knew what she was referring to by the 'chaos'. That would be Kylo.

You had never punched an elder, but you reckoned there was a first time for everything. You couldn't stand the prophecy type shit she was spinning, it was like talking to a tacky fortune teller. 

Was the aggression building in you just deflecting the shock you should be feeling? Yes. Did your self awareness do anything to quell the raging emotions? No.

You placed your hands on the widow sill, leaning your forehead against the cool pane of glass "Mora, if you can't tell me who they were, what can you tell me?" You spoke calmly, repressing the anger as best as you could.

When the Togruta next spoke her words were more rushed, loosing their serene quality "Ren has sensed your distress, I think I should retire"

You whirled to her, but she was already backing away, eyes hardening and hands folded over her abdomen. 

Hell if you were going to let her get away like that. You advanced on her "You can't drop this on me and leave me" You whispered harshly "Please, there's more, tell me, please?"

She sighed, clearly battling herself, before her eyes fixed on something over your shoulder "Trust your instincts, you are exactly where you are meant to be" She straightened her spine to regain her latitude above you, plastering a small smile on her face as she muttered through gritting teeth "Now, child, compose yourself" 

You knew Kylo was approaching before his hand made contact with your exposed back. 

"I see you've met my apprentice, Clan Leader Mora" His deep voice grumbled, making you stiffed beneath his touch. 

"Indeed, she is wonderful." She kept her ageing eyes on the man beside you "I'm afraid I must retire Supreme Leader, my age is truly getting to me" She smiled graciously but her eyes agave away the generous distain she held for Kylo as she looked at him, softening only when she nodded goodbye to you.

You watched your only clue to the mystery that was your past recede into the crowd.

You stood staring stonily as you felt Kylo shift beside you, exhaustion saturating your bones and tugging the corner of you mouth downwards. 

You wearily donned your facade again as Kylo stepped slowly into your line of vision, drawing his hand up and down your arm in lazy motions, with a small smile of his face. 

"You've done well tonight, everyones been singing your praises" the haphazardly disguised pride you found in his tone only partially thawed your frustration, allowing you to smile softly. 

"It's been a little annoying actually" He muttered as an afterthought. 

Your eyes snapped open, a familiar annoyance loosening your tongue "Annoying? Kylo, you chucked me into a kriffing Sarlac pit!" You whisper shouted. 

"I knew you were handling it" 

"Liar" You seethed, the only reason you were here was that he couldn't read your thoughts, so he sure as hell didn't know whether you were fine. 

"Don't forget who you're talking to my little rebel" His voice lowered dangerously and his hand tightened to grip your arm. 

"I know exactly who I'm talking to, Supreme Leader" You shrugged him off, glaring at him for a moment as he stood silently. 

You huffed a dry laugh and walked away, weaving nimbly though the crowd of bumbling socialites, who were becoming increasingly intoxicated as the night came to a close. 

If you had an unnatural amount of water in your ears you were sure there would be steam coming out of them right about now. 

Ah It was seemingly time for your bi-monthly-non-menstral-related mental break down. 

Your heels clacked on the marble flooring of the hall, passing by the bar as your dress fanned out behind you with the momentum. 

Your eyes darted from side to side, briefly catching a glimpse of Cardo with his arm around a blue Twi'lek, a large grin creasing the parallel scars along his cheeks. His eyes met your's and his brow furrowed, arm slackening on the Twi'leks' waist. 

You shook your head slightly and moved in the opposite direction, finding a small hallway near the end of the bar. You assumed it led to kitchens of some sort, but bless the stars, it was currently abandoned.

You placed your hands behind you as you lent against the cool wall, closing your eyes as you tilted your head back, hoping gravity would keep your cheeks dry.

"I thought I saw you sneak away" A voice sounds closer than you had expected, you controlled your reaction enough not to jump, even as your eyes flew open.

You had hoped it would be one of the knights, instead you were greeted with the bar tender from earlier. 

Stars this really wasn't the time. 

"Hi-" Your eyes flicked discreetly down to his name tag, "Ivan" you smiled tiredly, "I just needed to get some air" 

"I understand" He smiled, the dim lighting of the hallway casting uneven shadows across his face. 

You dipped you head awkwardly, pushing off the wall and moving to move around him.

You exhaled through your nose as he stepped sideways, blocking your path, "Look man, I don't think you want t-"

You gasped as his hand clasped around your throat, slamming you to the icy wall. You immediately he was stronger than he looked, you scrambled for the force, but it was dancing just out of your reach. 

You gasped from breath as he applied pressure to your windpipe, his other hand diving for the slit in your dress. You whimpered as you vision began to blur, thrashing against his grip.

"You thought you could just tease me like a slut? You're just like the rest of them- think your better than me?" He wrenched you of the Wal and slammed you back down. 

You cried out, desperately grappling both physically and within yourself, mentally crying out for the power you so desperately needed. 

"Dont" You rasped.

"You're just getting what you deserve-" He yelled out as he was ripped of you, Vicruls unmasked face appearing in front of you immediately, grasping your arms as you continued to struggle, mentally drained and only partially cognisant that you were now safe. 

You heaved out uneven breaths as Vicrul gripped your arms, staying close to you but allowing you space to calm yourself down, you looked up into his hard blue eyes, and he nodded ever so slightly. 

As your thundering heartbeat receded from your ears you became aware of the commotion happening further into the shade of the hall, Kylo had Ivan up against the opposite wall, his forearm crushing Ivan's neck as the weaker man spluttered and groaned. 

"You wanted to hurt her? Hm?" He growled, his low voice bouncing off the tiled walls. 

Vicrul tugged at you gently, you suddenly became aware of how violently you were shaking under his grasp. "Come on Kid, you don't need to see this" 

You shook your head, brow lowering as you stared at the two men across the hall. 

Kylo's fist connected with the man's jaw in a flash leaving Ivan sputtering blood between gasps for air.

Ivan's eyes connected with yours and a slow smile crept across his face, "She was asking for it" He spat blood towards your feet.

The ball of saliva and blood was still in the air when Kylo ignited his saber, he had it held against the mans abdomen, so the only sign the beam of energy was killing the man was the cries of pain that came from his mouth.

Kylo dragged the saber up, a feral look in his eye and a snarl leaving his mouth.

Perhaps it was the remainder of the exposed saber reflecting in his eyes, but you could have sworn, as the light left Ivan eyes, an orange glow filled Kylo's. 

The colour dissipated as soon as Kylo turned to you, disengaging the saber and abandoning Ivan's weight, he fell to the ground like a rock. 

"Tell the others to disperse and spread that it was two Gungan cooks fighting" Vicrul nodded, sparing you a glance before leaving. 

Your eyes flitted up to Kylo from Ivan's lifeless form.

"I swear- I didn't- He just" You started, knowing your fate would be similar to Ivan's if he assumed you were complicit. 

"Quiet" He said gruffly, approaching you and gripping your forearms, you sensed annoyance, the accompanying, gentleness let you know he hadn't assumed the worst. 

You looked at your for a moment, eyes flitting to various red marks on your body where Ivan had left this legacy. 

The anger radiating from him was tangible, "Kylo-" You started tiredly, your voice cracking slightly under the weight of suppressing further tears. 

In an instant Kylo crashed his lips into yours, aggressive in a way that didn't scare you, not anymore. 

He kissed you for only a moment, before brining his forehead to rest on yours, his hands holding the back on your neck.

"Keep your head up, we're going back to the room" His fingers found their home under your chin, positioning it as he ordered as he straightened to his towering height. 

The two of you walked from the corridor, facades in place, the stares of strangers following you both.

The phantom scent of Ivan's cauterised flesh lingering in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the irrational Y/N moments this chapter, but someone has to be an idiot to drive the plot yanno? Anyway some smut next chapter me thinks.
> 
> Thanks for tuning in xoxox


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